Notices by Girl on the Net (girlonthenet@mastodon.social)

I was trying to find one of my old blog posts to link to, and instead of delivering the blog post Google gives an AI summary of my work with random things I have not written thrown in as if they're my words. The links do not include one to the actual blog post that I was searching for.

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/hate-your-body-forties/

WHAT FRESH FUCKING HELL IS THIS.

@skeletor I love you, Inspirational Skeletor.

People, I am begging you, if you have air con in your flat please PUT IT ON YOUR DATING PROFILE.

Mission for this year, I think, is to find myself a spouse who really loves cooking (and also cleaning, tidying, doing the laundry, completing various admin tasks, and having sex with a woman who’s just lazily face-planted the mattress)

The main problem with having a job is that when I get home from work I am too tired and confused to make food happen. What can humans eat? Will this particular human be able to make some before bedtime? What even is food? Bedtime sounds nice.

I want to live the kind of life that makes bold, happy lines on my face. I want wrinkles that show I’ve spent my time smiling.

So. I drew these lines:

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/i-drew-these-lines/

NEW blog, gorgeous art courtesy of Tabitha Rayne, who has captured my joy so well ❤️

CREATIVES: the correct answer to 'please invoice me' is 'OK'. Stop trying to not get paid. I like paying people for their work, it brings me joy. Do not talk yourself out of fees because you enjoyed the work. Take the fee AND the fun, you deserve both.

This is an important study and it is tough to recruit for because of the niche. Pls share if you can!

Looking for #autistic adults in England with experience of #catatonia:

https://community.autism.org.uk/f/adults-on-the-autistic-spectrum/46570/participants-wanted-first-hand-accounts-of-catatonia-and-catatonia-like-experiences-in-autism

This should be illegal.

There is still time (just about) to buy #ValentinesDay gifts if that's your sort of thing. Here are some companies who support my site and are nice and sell good stuff.
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/valentines-day-respite-the-horror/

"The more difficult it is to find those moments, the more important they feel to me, and the gladder I am when they arrive."

A fabulous and timely guest blog this week from @bright_helpings - sex in the time of fascism ❤️

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/sex-in-the-time-of-fascism/

Here, I got you a present. It’s a special container where you can keep all your precious critique of other people’s bodies.

This is NOT A DRILL: new season of #Gladiators has a real life hot priest. She is heavily tattooed, absolutely STACKED, and I only know this cos she’s wearing vestments with the arms torn off.

“My motto in life is ‘Jesus shows his mercy’, but in Gladiators I’m gonna be showing none.”

Pls crush me. 💦

"When people treat your love like it is cheap, worthless trash, it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that *you* are trash too. But you aren't."

This time last year, I encouraged men of London to up their game.

[Possibly one of my favourite posts, I felt it so good]
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/up-your-game/

“Just because there are no *romantic* feelings, doesn’t mean that I have no feelings at all.”

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/casual-should-not-mean-contempt/

NEW blog, ‘casual’ sex doesn’t mean you get to treat the other person with contempt.

Fabulous art by @stuart_cb

I see racists are doing "did you know X% of kids in Glasgow/London/Birmingham don't have English as a first language!?" bullshit again.

BILINGUAL. The word you're looking for to smack them down is 'bilingual'. Most children who 'don't have English as a first language' have two languages. Sometimes more! Why do you hate this? It's fucking beautiful!

Can't remember what, probably 'do you have a Nectar card?' or sthing. The lady was quite old, and wearing niqab, so he couldn't see her face, but she just tilted her head to the side like she didn't understand and this kid immediately switched language and asked again.

Another head tilt.

And he asked again, this time in a new language.

She got it, and chatted back to him.

Blew my mind, honestly. This kid who was working a shift in Sainsbury's was just CASUALLY TRILINGUAL.

One of the things that made me fall in love with London was a visit to Sainsbury's in Whitechapel a couple of weeks after I'd arrived. I always swore I'd leave London quickly - it was dirty and smelly and busy and stressful. But I grew to love it pretty quickly, not least because when you have so many people in one place, people suddenly become endlessly fascinating.

Anyway. Sainsbury's.

A lad was scanning a lady's shopping through the checkout, got to the end and asked her something. 🧵

As someone who'd grown up in a place with very little immigration, then spent a couple of years abroad struggling to learn as much of the language as I could to get by, it absolutely floored me that I now lived in a city where people working the checkout in Sainsbury's could casually switch languages just to make it easier for an old lady to get her Nectar points or whatever.

What an astonishingly beautiful thing.

What a gift!