Notices by Girl on the Net (girlonthenet@mastodon.social)

This weekend I did something I thought I’d never do: I rode a Lime bike.

And honestly, I can totally see why Lime bike riders are such a menace on the roads. I went full goblin mode. Pure glee. Powering through empty back streets in the pouring rain, cackling with laughter about my bike-based superpowers. Never been happier. They should ban these immediately.

"Making roads safer for cyclists is unnecessary because no one cycles on our roads, they're too dangerous."

WHEEZING

Sad news, team: not driving a car is now 'woke'

https://www.mylondon.news/news/transport/britains-most-woke-2m-roundabout-31744635

I cycled a bit in Europe earlier this year, in a place with amazing cycle paths - signposted, maintained, safe and mostly separate from traffic. Do you know who cycles there? EVERYONE. Like, every demographic of person who exists in that area, you will see represented on a bike. I saw people in their eighties on ebikes popping to the shops. A dad on an ebike with 3 kids (one in front seat, one in trailer, one rollerblading holding on to the trailer). It's like another planet. A good planet.

Listen up, sex nerds (and other nerds too, all nerds welcome): @BishTraining is here on Masto.

You should #follow him and share his stuff - I was banging on to him about how brilliant you are at sharing and being lovely.

He creates inclusive, thoughtful #SexEd for young people here: https://www.bishuk.com/

Podcasts for grown ups on culture, #sex and #relationships here: https://soundcloud.com/culturesexrelationships and on Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/c/culturesexrelationships/

Follow innit.

Also didn’t actually notice where the borders were, they are such nothing. Occasionally noticed the road signs had changed and went ‘huh, I guess this must be the next country’ or whatever.

I’ll have crossed borders 7 times on this 5 day trip, and only had to show my passport for 2 of those.

Schengen rocks. Abolish all borders.

#BordersAreBullshit

"That simple arm squeeze caused a flash flood in my cunt."

This time last year, an advice guide on how to give sexual feedback that also doubles up as #porn. https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/sensitivity-training-sexual-feedback/

My sponsor Splashblanket has a sale on at the mo and you can get a sexy dark red waterproof sheet for £23. Great if you like to come everywhere while you're fucking.

https://splashblanket.co.uk/collections/sale?rfsn=7963769.03fb4c

I know it isn’t made with semen, but something about the texture is incredibly cummy.

Accidentally picked up one of these stealth protein coffees instead of a normal one 🤮

When I am king I will make it so all this stuff has to have a big red warning sign on it to prevent these errors.

Don’t forget Jesus died for our sins so make sure you ramp up the depravity today, show the little fella it was worth his while ❤️

Absolutely terrible decision by the UK Supreme Court, just harmful dogshit.

For Women Scotland don't speak 'for women' - just the tiny percentage of bigots who want to have a good look inside your knickers before you go for a piss. The ruling will harm them as well, but they're too thick to realise.

There is no fair/caring/equitable world in which women have to prove our 'biological sex' before we access toilets (or other services). No fair world with gender police. Fuck all the way off.

@goatsarah new level of pockets unlocked!! 🥳

I was nervous about getting back on my bike again (I am meant to be training for a London-Brighton but have so far done nothing), but I did it today and it was AMAZING and I felt POWERFUL and GREAT.

The moral of the story is I should just get on and Do The Thing.

FYI @neil is an actual lawyer so when he tells you that it's 'beyond criminal' that I don't have a boyfriend, he is speaking in a very strict, expert legal sense and you're all under arrest.

https://mastodon.neilzone.co.uk/@neil/114252812155789651

Good condom practice, being complimentary (without being a skeeze), and other things that mean women are more likely to recommend you as a casual sex partner...

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/fuck-referral-network/ #archive

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/fuck-referral-network/

The problem with dates is that if I have fun how do I know if it’s because the boy is fun or because I am fun enough for both of us?

I’ll be honest, I’ve had this problem in some relationships too.

"It’s hard to put yourself out there. It’s a challenge to be vulnerable. But you do have to do it if you want to get a date."

NEW BLOG! Remember when I said I'd do test #dates with blog readers & give feedback? Someone volunteered!

Meet Jack!

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/test-date-blog-reader/

#dating #relationships

Have you got a spare five minutes to help me test something?

[Note - it involves clicking a link that goes to adult content]

If you're up for it, please could you click this link: https://www.girlonthenet.com/audio-porn/ [ADULT]

And try to hit 'play' on some of the audio. Then reply to this post with

a) whether playing the files worked and
b) what country you (or your IP address) is in

Much appreciated, thank you <3