Notices by Girl on the Net (girlonthenet@mastodon.social)

FYI @neil is an actual lawyer so when he tells you that it's 'beyond criminal' that I don't have a boyfriend, he is speaking in a very strict, expert legal sense and you're all under arrest.

https://mastodon.neilzone.co.uk/@neil/114252812155789651

Good condom practice, being complimentary (without being a skeeze), and other things that mean women are more likely to recommend you as a casual sex partner...

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/fuck-referral-network/ #archive

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/fuck-referral-network/

The problem with dates is that if I have fun how do I know if it’s because the boy is fun or because I am fun enough for both of us?

I’ll be honest, I’ve had this problem in some relationships too.

"It’s hard to put yourself out there. It’s a challenge to be vulnerable. But you do have to do it if you want to get a date."

NEW BLOG! Remember when I said I'd do test #dates with blog readers & give feedback? Someone volunteered!

Meet Jack!

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/test-date-blog-reader/

#dating #relationships

Have you got a spare five minutes to help me test something?

[Note - it involves clicking a link that goes to adult content]

If you're up for it, please could you click this link: https://www.girlonthenet.com/audio-porn/ [ADULT]

And try to hit 'play' on some of the audio. Then reply to this post with

a) whether playing the files worked and
b) what country you (or your IP address) is in

Much appreciated, thank you <3

Three things in life are certain:
- death
- taxes
- if I tell Toyboy I'm having a tough time, he will always offer to send me donuts

(I never accept the donuts, but I always enjoy the offer)

If I’d read more tales like this when younger, not only would I have felt less alone when the same things happened to me, I’d have had the confidence to say ‘no’ a bit more often.

#ICYMI, yesterday's blog...

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/talk-yourself-out-of-a-fuck/

#Dating #relationships #sex

Oh for fuck’s sake

RE: https://mastodon.social/@arstechnica/114004428801284512

A lot of people saying ‘ah but human erotica is better, so it will be OK!’ and I’m so sorry to say I don’t think it will be. Using computers to write porn (or any art) is never part of a noble quest to Make Better Art. It is a quest to make Passable Art That Generates Money. It will suck the money (and attention) from sites/books/videos created by people. The soul gets drowned out by the slop.

Top fantasies in 2025:
1. Threesome
2. Bondage
3. Someone pinning you down and entering you really slowly while whispering into your ear ‘hey, don’t worry, everything’s OK. It’s 1999 again.’ And as you reach powerful climax you realise actually yes they’re right. It’s 1999 again . The jeans on the bedroom floor are Criminal Damage ones, your boyfriend smells like Joop!, and everything’s gonna be OK.

I met a parrot today yay!

She did not like me one single bit lol!

Winter is the best time to learn this incredible trick to blow your partner's mind in bed.

Entirely non-sexual. Just magic.
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/one-weird-trick-to-blow-their-mind-in-bed/

"I find it hard to tell men they’ve hurt me because saying it aloud makes me feel like a silly little girl."

This time in 2023, I started articulating a problem that I still haven't come even vaguely close to solving. lol.

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/comedy-or-tragedy-fall-stranger/
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/comedy-or-tragedy-fall-stranger/

@dalias please see this, by @dee https://social.treehouse.systems/@dee/113951197290994295

This is important, and you should pay attention if you enjoy any kind of erotic media whatsoever - including sex blogs (COUGH COUGH).

When Ofcom starts to enforce the Online Safety Act in the UK, the *quickest and easiest* way for most of us to comply is to geoblock UK IP addresses.

So come the summer, in the UK, if you wonder where all the porn has gone, the answer is it's still there you're just blocked from seeing it.

https://mastodon.neilzone.co.uk/@neil/113946328663502700

Everyone I’m drinking with was born in the nineties. They just ripped the piss out of me for using email. I hate the future.

I’m a feminist but... I let the guy in the DIY shop mansplain to me in the hope that he’d give me a discount.

(He did! £10 off! 🥳)

A man on BlueSky has kindly mansplained that the DIY guy probably meant well.

I find it fascinating when dudes do this - I'm the one they follow, so I'd assume they have some level of respect for me (or at the very least, believe that I can move about the world with a modicum of awareness and competence). AND YET! When I have an interaction with a stranger they do not know and will never meet, their instinct is to leap to the defence of that stranger.

Misogyny is assuming that any random man is more correct than any woman (even one you respect/like).

Reminder that you've got until end of January to do an annual Patreon sub at the max discount (and they've increased how much I can discount now so that's 20% off). Come join the team and get ad-free audio in your podcast feed plus a tonne of bonuses https://www.patreon.com/c/girlonthenet