Notices by dugglebutt (dugglebutt@beige.party)

Dude I just saw this interview with Ken Burns (famous documentarian) and he mentioned, just off the cuff, something that is insane about the American Revolution is that they were all like 25 years old. I could not believe this.

So I looked it up and yep, Adams and Jefferson started a new country when they were basically kids. Washington was like 40 and he was the oldest of all of them.

If you are ever bored, FYI, you can just hire an entire mariachi band to follow you around

Just throwing it out there lol

There was a guy.

His name was Thomas Crapper. Who was a plumber.

And the reason why ‘taking a crap’ exists is named after him

Which is hilarious

BUT

He also invented the floating ballcock and the U-Bend

Dude was a living meme lolll

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Crapper?wprov=sfti1#

I have no clue who Charlie Kirk is, but let’s not do this folks. This is a bad look

One thing I love about the Chicago Bears is they play in a stadium called Soldier Field. It’s not named after a bank or a silicon valley firm. It’s named for every soldier without a name who was lost in battle.

And that’s pretty hardcore man.

I don’t know much about cows but there is this one type that has super long hair

I just think they are kind of neat

Okay so. I have this really strange story.

Here is the story about how I met Ozzy Osbourne:

You know what is insane? There are animals that are infinite. Lobsters, alligators, and sharks. They just don’t die unless something kills them.
There are lobsters & sharks & alligators who are like 200 years old. It’s mental. Like wtf?
There was this shark found off the coast of Ireland (?) who was tracked to be 200 years old. What?

It’s really not that impressive at all lol.

You know what’s crazy is the end of the Bible always talks about how the final showdown between good and evil happens on the fields of Armageddon, like it’s some MCU shit.

Armageddon is a real place. You can just go there. It’s largely just farmland. Not much happening in terms of biblical revolt.

Just kind of growing grains and stuff. Day to day stuff.

So last night was Ozzy Osborne’s final show. Which allows me to tell this very odd story.
I was at a cubs game and had suites and I was pulling a lungdart in the rafters (you used to be able to do that) and out of nowhere, all these cameras appear. And I was p drunk. And the next thing I know, Ozzy Osbourne just stumbles into me grunting about nonsense.
And I’m like Ozzy, you gotta go that way. He had no idea what was happening.
His wife was very nice and was like I’m so sorry, and I was like, it’s cool. They were filming that reality show. And then this happened

https://youtu.be/0TPYI_Y3pWw

It was rad

Got a mosquito bite right in my armpit last night. Good lord it’s annoying lol

The Fourth of July is funny to me because the police are just like, you know what? Just for today, we are going to let drunk people play with explosives

I have this like really shitty problem, in which I have this asshole called cancer. And it won’t go away. I’ve been to like 10 doctors and they, every one, is like “yeah going to kill you” and I’m like, oh okay.
It’s sucks ass because I don’t know when that is going to happen. But it’s coming.

Fuck the Sacklers. They took a $7.5 billion dollar punch in the mouth for spreading OxyContin through Purdue Pharmaceutical

Should have been a harder hit.

Lichtenstein is a tiny country with a hilarious story. At one point, in the 1800’s, they sent 80 soldiers into war. And they came back with 81 because they made a friend along the way. This is a real thing that happened.

Just out of curiosity, does anyone have any advice on how to train a dragon? Mine is peeing in the house.

@RamenCatholic ghosts aren’t like generally bad. The one who lived in my house was very pleasant. She was extremely loud, which was kind of annoying, but I suspect she was trying to show me something. I don’t know what it was because she kept opening up these attic doors. Which was fine during the summer but during the winter it got crazy cold. But I never found anything weird in there.
I never saw her face, she was always leading me away, so I only saw her from reverse. Every once in a while, I would drive by my house and I would see her staring out into the backyard. I don’t know what she was looking at.
I really wanted to help her but I didn’t know how.
I kind of largely regret that I couldn’t figure out what she wanted to tell me.

@RamenCatholic yeah. Like look. People think I’m insane, and they might be right lol. But when a ghost sort of haunts your house, and I’ve spoken about this with friends of mine, you just kind of live there, but they own that house
Nobody really understands this argument unless you have had to deal with it.
But if you have done that, you get it.