Learned at karaoke last night that the best way to piss off my Gen X brethren is to sing "Caribbean Queen" but to to pronounce Caribbean as kah-RIB-ee-un

..the response by the audience to this seemingly innocent decision was received in a shockingly hostile and near violent manner...

Mentioned here my job was still putting new mission critical stuff on my plate after I have notice

Took <4 work days after my last day before they reached back out to me

I gave em a bit of free advice but I have a feeling I'll be moonlighting there again for a short spell at a much higher salary 😂

@reflex 😂

Aspire to have the same confidence in yourself that old white guys and tech bros on LinkedIn have but do so without all the pesky assholery they tend to exude

How my body feels after having to climb from the driver's side to the passengers side to get out of the car

The most in awe I have ever been in my entire life was when ~9 year old me visited my aunt and uncle and saw a waterbed for the first time

Flexing my hunting-and-gathering skills to my wife at the Mexican restaurant tonight by flagging down the waiter to secure us a second salsa

Just found a Starbucks in Knoxville that didn't have a restroom and I'm like - dude , what's the point?

My son : "my phone isn't getting reception"

Me : "mine seems fine; have you tried restarting your phone?"

My son : "that won't work"

Me :

Dear random person my elderly parents know :

The only reason I have a Facebook account at this point is to keep track of which of my relatives and neighbors have lost their mind to cable news media+internet brain rot; I'm more likely eat worms than accept your friend request

Signed,

Bubs Meany

If you turn your phone's camera on a selfie-mode and say Nancy Maces name 3 times into it while sitting on the shitter she'll reach up through the toilet and give your genitals a confirmation tug

Guy I used to work with that was a top shelf worker was having family issues and his performance indeed suffered but he was still above dept average

Instead of offering him time to rejuice or schedule adjustment they PIPed him

Ultimately they fired him anyway

Don't trust corporate America.. ever

Glad I gave my notice to the healthcare adjacent company I contract for already because the new product they bragged about at our company meeting is complete predatory ass and I'd have had to quit today anyway on principal alone

When you pull into where you are headed and put your car in park half a second before the song you are jamming to ends and you shut things down perfectly before the next song starts

I never realized how convenient having a short email address was until I had to sign into shit on my TV using a remote control

Until proven wrong, I am 100 percent gaslighting myself into believing the new MCU Fantastic 4 movie is throwing us a curve ball and Julia Garner will play comicbook legend Aunt may as The Golden Oldie instead of the Silver Surfer
..

If you are a hiring manager and you shit on both "job hopping" and "resume gaps" you are almost assuredly a nightmare to work for and suck at your job because you have no idea what it's like not to lick corporate boot for your paycheck

Me risking it all by partaking in cheap Mexican food out-of-town at a place I've never eaten at before hours before being part of a wedding

Quitting the highest paying but least skillful of my contract jobs today

It won't be a breeze financially, but if the last week has confirmed anything it's that playing by "the rules" and being complacent is a fool's errand

Taking my "free time" to work on my own business again

Fuck the norm

I'm so over this pre-retirement side quest called working all the damn time