Notices by elle (ellegray@mstdn.social), page 10

the CDC recommends getting an aquarium and growing your own leaches

How I wish to be addressed going forward

seems impossible to make a potato threatening but here we are

No joke I think you could make a fortune running summer camps for adults. I'd happily lie in a sleeping bag on the top bunk listening to rain pittering on the roof while we wonder which of the counselors are in loooove. Also, archery

Oh good the two genders. Men in Black or Liberace

how does anyone narrow their problems down to 99 I've got 17 based on skincare alone

they're making 4 different movies, each about one of the Beatles, and look just hear me out

please enjoy this tree singing showtunes

Dear friends,

As many of you know, five weeks ago I was in a serious accident. A drunk driver t-boned the car I was driving at high speed. I was in the hospital for 5 days and have several significant injuries.

It is estimated I'll be off work for at least 12 weeks. I have independent insurance that will kick in if I am off longer than 15 wks.

Because my work is all freelance, I do not have sick leave or benefits. I am

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https://ko-fi.com/elleg

responsible for my two children and my mom.

Luckily, I've been saving for two years for an online program that would allow me to start treating and counseling patients undergoing treatment for depression using psychedelic medications.

I have been using this money to support us all while I'm not working. So we're very lucky, and we're ok.

I'm a little bit heartbroken about my course, though. It's work that's important

https://ko-fi.com/elleg

dear god please let trump try to escape bankruptcy by fleeing the US in a yacht that is quickly met by 6-10 orcas who have just done cocaine

being an octopus would be amazing until you had to challenge someone to a duel imagine slapping them across the face with your beautiful strong tentacle but your suction cup suckers get stuck on their damn smug head & you have to stand there awkwardly pulling them off one by one the "shklup" sound alone would destroy all dignity

if you make me do a trust exercise at work not only will I trust you less but now we're in blood feud pal, saddle up

Actually this is my tenth rodeo I just refuse to learn things

currently being haunted by an angry chicken who wants me to feel really, really guilty

trying "reverse lent" this year*

*breaking each of the ten commandments for four days

I respect that you're fasting for lent but I'm going with furious

what does it mean if the priest puts the ashes on your head in the shape of an L

made heart-shaped pancakes for my love

whenever my boss says "think of the big picture, elle" I'm immediately an astronaut floating silently in space tethered to my ship looking down on earth, and nothing he wants seems important or even relevant really so this strategy has backfired on him more than once is what I'm saying