Notices by Low Quality Facts (lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social), page 3

That sounds about right.

I love toucans.

That's so sad.

Louis Armstrong stored jelly beans in his trumpet, which he would discreetly eat during his performances.

I should probably change mine.

We made a comic about a detective.

Back in the day, you could go to any carnival and win a fully grown shark in a plastic bag. But you can't do that anymore, because of woke. So the best I can offer you is today's Low Quality Ad, this Pet Shark Pin.
https://collabs.shop/qlm24e

Only 70?

Now it's all starting to make sense.

Wow, I somehow never knew this.

Wait, that's what the rovers are doing there?

Please give me a dollar a month on Patreon so I can buy this big lovable goofball more treats.
https://www.patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Knife Duck Pin. I asked my father what the duck would be saying. Here's his ideas:

-What's on the menu tonight? Not duck.
-I'll slit your wrist, I'm a crazy duck.
-I already came up with two ideas. What more do you want me to come up with?
https://collabs.shop/yu5vve

Please boost this ad, if I don't sell any knife duck pins I will be forced to fire my father immediately.

Whoops.

That blows my mind.

We made a comic about Hell.

Republicans: Shut up about mental gymnastics, we do not do that.

Also Republicans: The Pope is not a real Catholic.

Hmm.

That blows my mind.