Notices by Low Quality Facts (lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social), page 3

Someone complained that I've been posting about cats too much lately. So naturally, today's Low Quality Ad is for this Cat Blanket. Keep the complaints coming pal, there's more where this came from.
https://collabs.shop/a1yjpe

I gave up over seven million followers on Twitter to be on Mastodon full time. Yes, as I'm sure many of you have guessed by now, I am Gordon Ramsay.

That blows my mind.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this I'd Rather Be Reading patch. Looksmaxxing is out, booksmaxxing is in.
https://collabs.shop/ienvdj

Nature is crazy.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Task Failed Successfully pin. Happy Monday and good luck fumbling your way through the work day. We're all failing at things, some people just fail more successfully than others.
https://collabs.shop/hjseha

We made a comic about pirates.

I am terribly sorry to interrupt your doomscrolling, but tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this Black Yeti Plush. Look how cute he is. Every yeti is actually black, but most people think they are white because they're always covered in snow.
https://collabs.shop/gvckxb

Extremely disappointing that this one didn't pan out.

Why give Twitter $11 a month when you could spend only $1 to support my jokes about how hilariously incompetent Elon Musk? Also, I post pictures of my cats. Elon Musk doesn't post pictures of cats. If anything, Elon kicks cats. I bet it makes him feel like a big man.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Skeleton Abduction Blanket. Skeletons used to roam the Earth, but aliens came and abducted them all. They did this because the bones are their money.
https://collabs.shop/casj9w

Whales are incredible.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this F Bomb Pin. Let's drop more of these and less of the real ones for fuck's sake.
https://collabs.shop/f9iklo

You get what you pay for.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Yee Haw Patch. No one respects the law less than waterfowl. Go ahead and try to tell that goose it is trespassing, officer. The flock will torch your patrol car in a matter of seconds.
https://collabs.shop/ksjxkz

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this Nap Sticker. A 21 hour nap would be ideal. It would offer the best part of a coma (uninterrupted sleep) without the worst part of a coma (being in a coma).
https://collabs.shop/7dbf94

We made a comic about coffee.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this T-Rex Cat Blanket. People love to praise Shogun, but I couldn't get past the show's historical inaccuracies. They did not have a single cat samurai riding into battle on a t-rex. Literally unwatchable.
https://collabs.shop/tifagk

Sounds like an honest mistake.

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this Axolotl Plush.

What do you call a baby axolotl?

An axolittle.

Well it's been fun folks, I'll see myself out.
https://collabs.shop/v7fype