Notices by Low Quality Facts (lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social), page 3

Ladies and gentlemen, please stand for Mambo No. 5.

I'm surprised that so many people don't know this.

Brilliant.

This is one of the dumbest comics we've made.

That's good to know.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Mushroom Shirt.
Hey, you. Yes, you specifically. You would look fantastic in this shirt. Take it from me, some random guy who has no fashion sense.
https://collabs.shop/ieijm2

The Event: ICE storms local grocery store, aggressively flipping over every shopping cart with a toddler in it.

The Headline: Radicalized Mothers Bring Children To Violent Riot.

I wonder which color tastes best.

We made a comic about waffle fries.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Bedding Set. If those are ravens, this will grant you protection from Odin, the Allfather. The mighty Norse God will watch over you while you sleep. If those are crows, then it's just a comforter with birds on it.
https://collabs.shop/ke8fnt

A bird expert has reached out and informed me they are actually pelicans from an extremely flattering angle.

That's so wholesome.

This is why kings always forbid princesses from seeing anyone in fairytales. They do it under the guise of "purity" but actually fear their daughters will turn into frogs and live hoppily ever after.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Frog Princess pin. Fairytales often mention how if a princess kisses a frog it turns into a handsome prince. But did you know that if a prince kisses a princess she turns into a frog? This is a good thing. The princesses are happier this way.
https://collabs.shop/w5efxd

I'm sick of people talking about nothing but corrupt politicians and fascism and capitalist greed on here, so today's Low Quality Ad is for this Guillotine Pin. I'm not sure what a guillotine does actually. The red stuff makes me think it's used to slice pomegranates.
https://collabs.shop/toeukb

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this "I Bake My Own Bread And I Don't Trust The Government" tea towel. I bet this possum baked the best focaccia ever after listening to Kristi Noem's press conference.
https://collabs.shop/pyfjx7

When I don't UNDERSTAND something I get SCARED and ANGRY. Instead of figuring out what these STICKERS are I will decide that they JUSTIFY my RAGE.

It's a very important day to some people.

RE: https://mstdn.social/@lowqualityfacts/115793165697461655

Someone ordered 18 of these. If this was you, please tell me. I have so many questions. Do you just really love raccoons? Were they all for you? Are you in charge of a racoon fan club and wanted to get all 18 members a token of your appreciation? I need to know more about your life.

People keep assuming that we're invading Venezuela for oil, but let's also consider the possibility that Maduro said something like "Trump Tower looks gaudy" 30 years ago and it has been eating away at Trump every day since.