Notices by Low Quality Facts (lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social), page 3

Someone complained that my posts are too liberal, so tonight's Low Quality Ad is dedicated to my conservative followers. I think you guys will relate to this bumper sticker.
https://collabs.shop/oqtgvl

That makes sense.

I love Bernie Sanders.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Yawning Kitty Blanket. If you do not comment "Big yawn!" when you see this blanket you will be blocked and reported immediately.
https://collabs.shop/m2ukdj

Amazing.

We made a comic about a mayfly.

That is so inspirational.

Wow, I somehow never knew this.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Two Gay Frogs Pin. I'm not sure where this falls on the LGBTQ spectrum. We might need more letters.
https://collabs.shop/ekmuem

I think LGBTQIMATFTAG has a nice ring to it.

Ouch.

I can see how that could be confusing.

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this Narwhal Stuffed Animal. The Narwhal was nearly hunted to extinction in 1880 after Mark Twain jokingly suggested that the animal's horn could be used to cure illiteracy.
https://collabs.shop/bw2cox

You can tell if a narwhal is a male because it will have a horn. You can tell if a narwhal is female because it will also have a horn.

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this 3D Dragon Eye Embossed Journal. It's surprisingly affordable, which does make me worry they might be using factory farmed dragons instead of free range ones.
https://collabs.shop/tquqmo

I can't wait.

This happened to me, and I was only 7 at the time.

Look, I know you all think this account is funded by the possum industry. But that's not true. That's insane. I don't think possums even have an industry to promote. On an unrelated note, today's Low Quality Ad is for this Stay Trashy Hat.
https://collabs.shop/zoxcty

PSA to parents: If your child wears this hat, they might be participating in the new viral trend called "possuming". It is when someone goes out at night, drags a trash can into the road, hops inside it, and waits until a car hits the can. They then hiss at the driver and scurry off into the night.

Okay, but in which direction?