Notices by Dgar (dgar@aus.social)

If you hold a mud-crab to your ear, you can hear a mud-crab attacking you.

There are two types of people in the world.

Avoid them both.

Elon Musk gets a lot of hate.

But it’s not enough.

We can do better.

Velcro is a rip-off.

Dungeons and Dragons is a role-playing game that lets you live out such fantasies as:
• Having money
• Making close friends as an adult
• Travelling the world without crippling debt
• Being able to change the world
• Getting better at something with practice
• Getting 8 hours of sleep each night

My horse keeps getting out of the stable after dark.

She’s becoming a night mare.

@futzle needs multiple choices. ☺️

This is not a word I made up. Some have used the term to describe the sharp influx of notifications that someone experiences after #Dgar has visited their profile and boosted some of their content to several thousand Fedizens.

Have you been #Dgarred before?

#DgarLore

@tomatensson I have several German-speaking folk following me. 😁

Plot twist!

When you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen the mall.

I don’t often read scripture, but when I do…

The piano makes a flat miner if you drop it down a mineshaft, and a flat major if you drop it on an army base.

69% of people can find something dirty in any sentence.

What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea.

What do you call a dog with no legs?
Anything you want, he’s not coming.

What do you call a pig with three eyes?
Piiig

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no genitals?
Still no fucking idea.

Yewww!!!

Electronic Frontiers Australia has moved into The Fediverse!

Follow their brand new official Mastodon account!

@EFA

Labor.
Sometimes they’re even stupider than The Greens.

Also, teenagers know what a VPN is. This is the kind of shit that will hand #Dutton the election.

#Auspol

Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar...

followed by Batman.

Good luck with your IQ test today America!
🤞

Is it possible to give someone a skin graft from your butt?

Ass skin for a friend.