Notices by Corey Quinn (quinnypig@awscommunity.social), page 4

The cautions aren't exactly what I'd pick. "Lack of tools and guidance for multicloud?" Buddy, I'd pay handsomely for tools and guidance for integrating multiple AWS services together cleanly.

Lift and shift is half of every keynote.

And "competes with partners" feels tired.

Next up is Google Cloud! Strengths include

* a design elegance you can only achieve if you take the bold step of not firing people for talking to other teams

* splattering AI everywhere--wait, what? That's only in press releases!

* Sustainability. Their tool is the best.

Google Cloud cautions include:

* if this thread were a Google Cloud product I'd get bored about now and wander off to do something else

* like many in our generation, they're terrified of phone calls

* lack of integration with other, more easily killed Google products

Now it's Azure's turn! Strengths:

* ARC is awesome. I've heard that before from customers.

* Their DevEx is off the charts, primarily due to extremely low bars set by competitors.

* They know how to partner without getting bored or eating their counterparty.

Azure cautions include:

* it catches fire a lot due to neighborhood kids sneaking into the data centers through all of the doors that were left propped open

* lock-in because they dare to make things that work well together

* becoming a partner is like getting ordained online

Next up is Oracle Cloud!

Strengths include:

* killing it on their "deploy onsite at customers" story

* nailing multicloud integration because they weren't kidding anybody except themselves that they were anyone's sole cloud

* pace of innovation is what AWS's used to be

Weaknesses include:

* what the shit? "not going hard enough into GenAI" is the worst thing about Oracle?! You're in a target rich environment and shot your own foot!

* resilience issues because single-DC design

* some salespeople still kidnap pets out of habit

All in all, Microsoft has the more complete vision, whereas AWS outperforms on its ability to execute. I will now take questions from you all about what we've just seen.

"Why wasn't X cloud included?" is a common refrain. The list of inclusion criteria is lengthy, contains some bullshit, and also mandates a multi-continent scale that blows a bunch of up-and-comers out of contention.

In all I don't think there were too many surprises here for us this year; the market has more or less reached some semblance of maturity.

I think it's way too soon for responsible providers to be going all-in on Gen AI, and judging them for it will lead to tears for us all.

I think there have been some changes over the past year.

AWS will smile when I say that companies no longer dread them entering their space. They will stop smiling when I say that's because things like "DocumentDB" are the best sales pitch for MongoDB the world has ever seen.

Next year I want @Gartner_inc to ding companies for every service (particularly GenAI) that has been *announced* but is not yet *available* for general customer use. That'll fix an awful lot--or make it disastrously worse, depending on whether the adults are in charge.

We got him!

@memeorandum oh no so sad

I didn’t realize that the trick to getting a bunch of developers to clearly articulate what they’re after was just to call it “prompt engineering.”

And now a very harsh Cloud Economics truth for you.

Fine, fine. I'll do this year's training my damned self.

Hello, and welcome to your company's oh-so-very-shitty Security Awareness Training. I'm Chief Cloud Economist Corey Quinn of the Duckbill Group, today I'm your Acting CISO while your actual CISO is out finding which bars are open at 9:30 in the morning, and I'll be delivering this training for you because I was absolutely NOT the lowest bidder.

Thread begins here...

The whole point of security awareness is to protect company information. That's what they say, anyway.

Here in reality we're going to reference back to the things I spew at you rapid fire and blame you for our institutional shortcomings once we get breached. As your company's CISO, the most unkind yet accurate adjective people will ever apply to me is "ablative."

Confidentiality is important. Assume that people will read what you write. I know, it's a heavy lift for some of you who haven't figured out that the failure mode of "being clever on the internet" is "being a huge asshole," but pretend it'll be read.

In open court.

By a sobbing child.

Who's somehow on your Board of Directors.

Don't share private information.

Information should be presumed private until demonstrated otherwise. Don't assume that someone emailing you is who they claim to be. And don't insist on GPG signed email unless you never want to receive email again--wait.

WAIT.

brb generating a GPG key.