Notices by josef (jk@mastodon.social)

@halcy here's a couple. i made 16 in total. i think i had an idea that maybe one could be for favs, one for boosts, one for follows, maybe the tritone could be for errors, etc. the timeline would be like little riffs combining together into pseudorandom algorithmic piece of music

the fact that duckduckgo has an AI thing at the top of the search results which DOESN’T answer in character as a duck, or even quack several times between each sentence, is, i think, a shocking betrayal and a demonstration of utmost cowardice

from what i can see, there's not much freedom in owning a car. on foot, if i'm walking along a path with a small wall next to it, i can choose to hop up and jog along the top. i can shimmy between signpoles. take a detour through a park. you can't do these things in a car. you must stay on the road, and keep going the same speed as the others. you're told when to stop and go. sometimes you're allowed to turn left or right, but you must flash a light first. failure to do these things is illegal

i don't have a car and i don't have a driving license. i imagine that if i had a car i would become mad with power. i would become obsessed with the car and how it worked. i would become irate, even angry, about all the things in the way of my car. id want them to knock down buildings and widen roads to give my car an easier time getting places. and when i get there, i'd want there to be somewhere for me to put my car. ALWAYS. thats what i imagine it would be like, if i drove a car

all those write-protect tabs you broke off cassettes. where are they now? micro-flotsam, broken down, ground to dust, eaten by a salmon, then by you. a particle of mixtape remains in your ventricle. the songs of youth, forever in your heart

Press any key to boot from CD...

hi linux fans. going to take another old thinkpad out of a drawer. this one has arch installed on it, but i havent booted it for 4 years. i will type 'pacman -Syyu' and see if it works properly. if it does, then linux is good. if it doesn't, then linux is bad

the architecture of the fediverse is optimized to increase engagement by having people's replies to your post just not show up for others, which encourages them to also reply saying exactly the same thing that all the other people have been saying in their replies

when someone says like. "this runs on a potato" or whatever. or "my potato camera" etc. what is the vegetable which is one up from a potato in terms of power and capability? like, something slightly more powerful than a potato, but still pretty limited in the fields of slickness, impressiveness, and modernity

company: our product is used by leading professionals in the field, like steven grongle

me: who the fuck is steven grongle

company: seven-time award winning steven grongle has sat down with us to discuss how our product is invaluable to his workflow

me: who the fuck is steven grongle!!

steven grongle: the product is fantastic-

me: who the fuck is he!

steven grongle: --and it's invaluable to my Workflow

me: i've never heard of him!

user: you can *always* trust The Grongster

everyone. ive been thinking EXTREMELY hard. and ive discovered it. the Secret

the secret to SuperThought

SuperThought allows u to think of things that just arent possible using regular Thought

for example
here is my first SuperThought

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BEGIN SUPERTHOUGHT
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
if u burn a banana then
is it called a Burnana. ?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Id like to inform you that ive thought & worked very hard
and I’ve discovered the Secret —

thats what i call my phone. because whenever i use it im always gromicing

in my right pocket i keep my wallet and in my left pocket i keep my gromice

chess: the ONLY board game with a horse.
GUARANTEED

anyone who does graphics programming can tell you that after some cumulative number of hours writing shader code, you WILL become exactly like this

humans like to feed wildlife due to our natural hospitality. we water the plants so that they grow. we proudly make oil paintings depicting animals who are large, healthy, and rectangular

since the birth of agriculture there has been an inbuilt human need to see a pig fulfill the maximum extent of its potential bounding box. minecraft is a recent example of media designed to satisfy this need

@doctormo when i was younger, i loved how so much free software was, well, free-as-in-beer. i didn't value my time that much, so it kinda worked out. but nowadays i'd absolutely pay for a really polished distro that offered a cohesive, stable experience, with guaranteed software and hardware compatibility and some degree of included support

it's very difficult to explain to linux people that, i have a folder called "Software" with loads of nested subfolders containing programs, tools, games, etc, many of which are more than 20 years old. occasionally i need one of these programs, maybe once every few years, and i go in there and click on the .exe and it works instantly. next to the .exe are dlls, which are also 20 years old. no package manager needed. the whole thing works great - on Windows, and of course, on WINE