Notices by Missing The Point (missingthept@mastodon.social), page 3

Breaking: Elon Musk unveils shared coffin.

Breaking: In an effort to dry out Florida after hurricane Milton passes, state officials plan to fly in Ben Shapiro.

If we name hurricanes we should name other things, like babies.

If Florida gets five hurricanes this month the sixth one is free.

Listen, I want a broad anti-fascist coalition to form to defeat the existential threat of Donald Trump, it’s just that all members of that coalition need to pass my stringent test for ideological purity.

Granted, Harris seems to be running a near-flawless campaign, but that's not going to stop me, a non-expert, from offering some advice as to how they could be doing better.

I wanted a JD Vance themed Halloween outfit but I can't find a sexy couch costume. 😞

Breaking: Tim Walz offers to stay after the Vice Presidential debate to help break down the set.

How are the survivors of Helene’s devastation supposed to be okay if Trump doesn’t throw absorbant paper towels to them? https://www.washingtonpost.com/climate-environment/2024/09/29/trump-hurricane-helene-be-okay/

Breaking: Person who was President during a time that certain problems existed asks why person who has not been President did not fix those problems during the time that she was not President.

IF YOU’RE WAITING IN LINE IN NEW YORK TO BE INDICTED, STAY IN LINE. https://www.thecity.nyc/2024/09/27/ingrid-lewis-martin-subpoena-eric-adams/

“We can't complete this request because this link has been identified by X or our partners as being potentially harmful to Donald Trump.”

Breaking: Panicked Florida residents offer their leader Ron DeSantis as sacrifice to appease angry god of hurricanes.

What New York City needs in this rudderless time is a well-known and beloved leader who can meet the challenges of the moment and has the respect to rebuild trust for an office damaged by the last occupant’s crimes and incompetence.

And by chance a certain someone's dance card is currently empty.

So is Trump just going to sit around with a hurricane about to hit Florida or is he going to get out his Sharpie and do something about it?

Live your life in such a way that you are not publicly and effusively praised by Donald Trump.

PornSnub: Senior staff members for N.C. gubernatorial hopeful Mark Robinson resign amid porn site scandal https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2024/09/22/mark-robinson-staff-resign-porn-cnn/

Breaking: Convicted felon declines second presidential debate with former prosecutor. https://wapo.st/3ZDFL0J

Breaking: In a surprise role reversal, Olivia Nuzzi will now be the North Carolina GOP gubernatorial candidate and Michael Robinson will now exchange inappropriate online messages with RFK Jr.

Breaking: JD Vance alters Springfield stance, now only defends American dog and cat breeds — “are those Shih Tzus and Persian cats even legally in our country?”