Notices by spaf (spaf@mstdn.social), page 2

“Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet”

Maybe you heard the breaking news about the election and primaries:

Happy 2024. Live forever.

From 3 years ago, and found in my archive. It seems more pertinent than ever.

I suspect @cstross will resonate with this.

@ParadeGrotesque
And may your holidays be bright

PSA: At the holidays, it is tempting to drink too much alcohol. Sometimes, bothersome relatives also accelerate this process. Thereafter, people who have had too much to drink will attempt to drive. This is bad at any time and can be especially tragic at the holidays.

Please don't do it! If you are tempted to drink, contact me (in advance, if possible). I have a group of dedicated volunteers who are willing to help. We will do your drinking for you so you can drive sober.

Pros and cons of being my friend:

Pro: you have a friend

Con: It's me

Brief reminder on cryptocurrencies.
When trying to understand any form of cryptocurrency, understanding valuation relative to something similar is useful:
1 crypto coin == 3 Dutch 1637 tulips == 1/2 unicorn horn == 0.1 the Carnwennan dagger == 1 vial with 5 mermaid tears == 1/3 scroll of invisibility to dragons

Those are approximate as the value of each frequently changes from 0 to multiples of the square root of -1. For the most up-to-date values, check with the clerks at Gringotts.

I do all my own stunts.

But never intentionally.

If really good-looking people are "eye candy" I am somewhere between "eye broccoli" and "eye kale."

Found in my archive:

Interviewer: What's your biggest strength?

Me: I'm expert in machine learning.

Interviewer: What's 7+9?

Me: Zero

Interviewer: No, it's 16.

Me: Ok, 16.

Interviewer: What's 10+20?

Me: 16

Scientists in the 1990s: We split the atom! We landed people on the moon! We cloned a sheep! We discovered superconductivity! We're digitizing all of the world's knowledge for global, near-instantaneous access!

Scientists in the 2020s: No, vaccines don't include 5G chips and make you sterile. No, the Earth is not flat. No, jet contrails are not mind-control sprays. Yes, climate change is real.

We're always told that the best revenge is living well.

As I evaluate my circumstances, I need to know the 2nd and 3rd best forms of revenge.

I have performed an unscientific survey of people who are working in coding and cybersecurity to see what language they use most often.

The result: profanity.

@feditips This is a great feature but it really requires people to populate posts with useful hashtags

#MastodonFeatures