Notices by DXM (dxm@mastodon.world)

@georgia
HELL YEAH! I'M NOT ALONE 🥦🥦🥦

i need a cardboard cutout of me as a stand-in during teams meetings. nobody would notice

@lain
will they ever make baguettes that are wide instead of long? ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

@meso i wish there was a head shaped alarm clock that you have to curb stomp in the morning. deal with that frustration of not having died in your sleep as soon as it appears

@meso that's really unfortunate. at least i got a glimpse ig

@meso
that's a surprisingly normal image

i follow everyone intentionally except for @meso

@meso
sometimes i pull so hard i rip the skin

@meso I STICK THINGS IN MY ASS HOLE pls don't boost

@meso
butt stuff 🥴

is there some way to check how large the aneurysm has grown?

@lain this person has clearly held in a shit for the past two hours. no teams meeting is _that_ important

cope using humor cope using humor cope using humor cope using humor cope using humor satire satire satire satire satire satire satire satire satire

@meso this post gave me radiation sickness

@meso Chernobyl i

@lain duhhh it's called "vinyls"

@meso @adachi i love how nothing is even implied. it's like half a conspiracy theory

@meso if you go metal first, the cardboard will collapse with the metal disc acting as a hook. impossible to pull past the sphincter, possibly ripping the cardboard apart on your frantic attempt to remove it. this is turning into the weirdest body horror. eventually you'll have to visit the emergency room and tell them about the oil slick in your kitchen and how your pants slipped mid-fall

@meso tbh the thought of the can collapsing from the pressure is troubling. dude would just have to live with it lodged there forever

@meso
impressive feat, if successful