Notices by B Kahn (bkahn@beige.party)

Time for evening prayers. Note, I am not religious.

Hey, Trump! I pray you have the worst evening, night, week, and month of your miserable life. I pray that enough of your rotting brain still functions so that you will appreciate how badly you have lost. Amen.

For some reason I don't think Trump or his cronies would lose sleep over destroying the US economy as long as they were able to divert billions of dollars into their own accounts before the end. They don't care what happens to 99.9% of us. If anything we're inconvenient and irritating. Even their own children are inconvenient and irritating. Trump is essentially a huge ego wrapped in blubber.

@pinkears The ones in Hell are in fact fakes, but Vance won't know. Cats and cat ladies are divine. 😇

Conversation with a deity

Deity: I have some messages for you to pass on.

Me: Why me?

D: Don't interrupt. First, Speaker of the House Johnson says people are not interested in Trump's health. Tell Johnson that as of tomorrow, his body will have Trump's health and vice versa.

Me: I don't think Johnson will like that.

D: Don't interrupt. Tell Trump that I spoke with Satan and there's no room at the inn.

Me: Trump won't go to hell when he dies???

D: Don't interrupt. The gods are discussing a suitable punishment. I suggested a television interview. The program will be called "Six Quintillion Minutes" and it will feature a rotatiing cast of Trump's least favorite TV late night hosts asking him questions and laughing at his answers.

Me: Trump won't like that. Oh, yeah--he'll be dead.

D: Don't interrupt. Another suggestion was to have Trump spend eternity building the wall on the border with Mexico. By himself. Eternal thirst, eternal heat stroke, eternal recordings of the worst Mexican narco pop music.

Me: That sounds like hell on earth!

D: Don't interrupt. What else? Oh, yes. Tell JD Vance that he WILL be going to Hell and when he gets there, it'll be angry cat ladies for all eternity. That dude is going to suffer. Okay, get going.

Me: Yes Ma'am!

Sometimes things are just so ridiculous I have to laugh. I saw a report earlier that MTG accused the Dems of controlling the weather and creating hurricane Helene. Doesn't she realize that if they had that kind of power, they'd have long ago shut her up in a tomb on the backside of Mount Everest with Boebert, Moscow Mitch, and lots of similar clowns for her only companions? I know she's scientifically challenged, but still. Or she's smart as a whip but knows her audience has the intelligence of fence posts and just enjoys telling them whoppers. Either way, a loser and a weirdo and a blot on our nation.

I admit that robot wives has not been on my list of things to pay attention to. But having noticed the topic, I am wondering if the human husbands will be allowed to have multiple robot wives? Polyroboty? As the robot wives become more sophisticated, will the human husbands (owners? masters?) have to worry about robot jealousy?

Hubby: "Will you two please stop arguing! You're driving me crazy!"

Wives (whispering): "Let's kill him and hide the body. He works remotely and it's dead easy work--nobody will even notice..."

Trump's MO: If I commit a crime today, people will forget about the crime I committed yesterday. And the day before. And the day before that. Pretty soon people expect me to commit a daily crime, and eventually the crimes aren't real any more. Works like a charm!

Suggested Headlines for MSM:

Trump Continues to Lie

Trump Repeats Same Old Lies

Trump's Interview Full of Lies

Trump's Rally: Non-Stop Lies

Trump the Serial Liar

Everything Trump Says Is A Lie

Trump Travels to PA to Tell More Lies

"I Never Lie," Lies Trump

I don't want to get in trouble with Google or any other search engine, but I'm so tempted to search for "What word or phrase is much worse than 'asshole'?"

I need a better way to describe JD Vance. He's a special guy...😇

Having recently canceled our subscription to the NY Times, and keeping--at arm's length--our sub to the Washington Post, I see no reason at all why Harris should waste time on the MSM. I don't like the situation, but if the MSM is going to let Trump play them day and night, and pretend both sides are "equal" when one would like to move forward solving problems and the other are Nazi worshippers, then the journalists have lost the right to access. Maybe they'll earn it back. Maybe not. Fact is I learn more about what's going on here on Mastodon than anywhere else. Links to original documents, reports from climate scientists, and great photos to sooth my soul and make me smile. Not bad!

Having Trump say something is "illegal" is rich. So weird.

If the time and money spent trying to justify impeaching Biden had been spent on supporting libraries or feeding children, I wouldn't hate the GOP House members with such a purple fury. A pox on them one and all.

There have been lots of exciting groups organizing and fund-raising for Harris & Walz. What's wrong with the other team? I can help with titles:

Terrorists for Trump
Weirdos for Trump
Rapists for Trump
Perverts for Trump
Women-haters for Trump
Ignoramuses for Trump
Nazis for Trump
Panicked White Dudes for Trump

C'mon, Donald. Turn off the TV and get moving! Time is running out! The ❤️ Taylor Swift ❤️ tidal wave is on its way. 😂

Boeing Starliner astronauts resign, say they have called an Uber and will be home soon.

My take on Walz compared to Vance: Walz is a living breathing kind-hearted intelligent human. Vance is a money-and-power grubbing weirdo. But in his favor: he says he loves his wife even though she's not white. That'll make a nice yard sign. 😂

Fake News

Trump goes ballistic over choice of Walz. "He's totally fake!" Trump shouted. "Look at his record of taking care of people and helping them. Nobody should be nice like that. It's disgusting and unAmerican!"

#GiftLink

Jenna Ellis flips, will help prosecution:

https://wapo.st/3LToTLi

Fake News

Reports are circulating that Harlan Crow funded a super high-tech android 8 years ago and the 'droid has been sitting in for Clarence Thomas ever since. Thomas himself has mostly been on vacation since the 'droid was activated, enjoying the hospitality of his super rich buddies.

Most bizarre: a rumor that Thomas has had to overrule the 'droid on more than one occasion because it was writing 'overly liberal' opinions written by it's AI brain.

Fake News

Simone Biles challenges JD Vance to a match on the mats. He accepts. She does a couple of incredible twisting flips and then kicks the shit out of him. The 'no contest' contest is over in 17.16 seconds. His jaw broken, Vance can't speak for weeks. Biden gives Biles the US Gold Medal of Gratitude. Hooray!

Fake Quotes from the Weird Orange Coward

"Alpha Males don't debate girls."

"Debate or no debate I will win so why waste the time?"

"Who ever heard of debating an Indian girl?"

"Some people say I'm afraid to debate KaMAHla. They've got it all turned around. She's afraid to debate me."

"Whaddya mean there's no scar on my ear?"

"I'm so far ahead in the poles [sic] people need telescopes to see me.

"I am NOT weird! Let me repeat: Am I not weird. Weird not am I. So stop saying it! The only weird one is KamaLA. She laughs at jokes or when she says she's amused. I'll tell you what's amusing--one day she's Black and another day she's Indian. I don't get it but that's weird."