Notices by jb (jb@nicecrew.digital)

Wednesday morning #headlines recap

UAE halts all trade, commercial exchange and financial transactions with Iran. The trigger: UAE says it detected two inbound ballistic missiles from Iran, although they later walked back the missiles claim stating that it was targeting maritime traffic. Iran categorically denies firing them and warns of a false flag.

Trump halts all Iran contacts; strategy shifts to "strangle over time". He fails to mention the US is the one strangling.

Iran has assessed striking US military targets inside Europe. Targets reportedly assessed include US assets in Bulgaria and Cyprus (where a British base was drone-struck in March); also under consideration, subsea fibre-optic cables in the Strait.

COSCO and CMES pull every tanker from Hormuz and Bab el-Mandeb. The two Chinese shipping giants control 100+ VLCCs and handled roughly half of China's Middle East crude pre-war; the decision followed direct communication with Beijing.

Trump claims Hormuz as a US territory, but there’s no proclamation, no executive order, no coordinates, no State Department instrument exists; a White House official said Trump was joking. I guess he wanted a Strait of America to go with his Gulf of America.

Iran's parliament speaker Ghalibaf restates the reopening price: blockade lifted, frozen assets released, oil sanctions removed, military operations ended, all MoU terms fulfilled. Three ships crossed on Sunday, against roughly 110/day before the war. Iran has attacked a ship every single day for 16 days. Meanwhile Middle East production is still down ~8 mb/d and diesel prices continue to break records.

KOSPI takes another beating and once again activated its circuit breaker to halt trading for the 10th time this year. By comparison, S&P has only 5 halts in its entire history. Eventually that latter number will rise…

The yen is back to 159.52, erasing almost all of the Treasury/BoJ intervention from three weeks ago. More flailing impotence from the Trump admin.

Editor’s note: if you want an update on how dire things are in Kiev check out Simplicius latest post on substack. It’s gonna be a long, cold, hungry winter for them.

LandSpace's ZhuQue-3 Y2 reached orbit, delivered the Honghu-03 satellite, and soft-landed its first stage in Minqin County, Gansu - China's first land-based orbital-class booster recovery, and the first by a commercial company.

Comcast is turning millions of routers into motion sensors, with WiFi signals capable of identifying individuals at 99.5% accuracy. Comcast not being evil for 5 minutes challenge: IMPOSSIBLE

Wife of Rex Tillerson (former Secretary of State in first Trump admin) is confiding in associates she and Rex are under “intense surveillance,” and they are apparently not able to do anything about it. She also states that while Tillerson was serving she knew Kushner was Mossad. Not a stunning revelation here, but interesting fodder for the normiesphere.

Panettiere had the All-Seeing Eye tattooed on the back of her neck. Branded as a temple prostitute.

Four deputies from the Harris County Sheriff’s Office in Texas have died by suicide in the past six weeks. Somebody saw something they weren’t supposed to see.

Mike Caruso, co-author of Florida’s IHRA “antisemitism” censorship bill signed by Ron DeSantis in Israel in 2023, was arrested for child molestation of his family members. Doesn’t seem like he’s a jew, but he’s certainly adopted jewish family values.

Editor’s note: Lots of stories about voting irregularities in yesterday’s primaries, but there’s nothing you don’t already know: losers were either running against jews or being replaced because they didn’t molest enough children.

35-YEAR-OLD Israeli in Greece arrested over Crete wildfire. Wildfires seem to follow jews around the world. Pretty odd for people that don’t like getting their hands dirty.

Hang in their frens, the oppressive heat will pass soon and spooky season will be here before you know it…