Notices by Baa (baa@mk.absturztau.be)

@puniko

I turn on my PC.

The local wildlife are immediately sterilised by the untreated waste of my four un-shielded nuclear reactors, operating far beyond criticality.

The sound of 10,000 cooling fans deafens the city's morning traffic as my warehouse of 500 parallelised AMD EPYC CPUs stolen from OpenAI burst into life, forming the equivalent processing power of 2019 in one room.

Nearby, my cluster of Nvidia 6090 Test Cards begins to warp the local time continuum as they calculate answers man was never meant to know.


Very gently, I open Microsoft Teams.

Instantly, the already deafening noise of fans increases to a murderous wail as they try to keep my equipment at operating temperatures. A nuclear reactors' fusion catches up with its cooling and explodes destroying the lives of millions. The floor begins to melt away as my processors overclocked ten-fold reach critical mass and descend directly into hell. My Nvidia cluster collapses into a singularity and begins to devour the planet.

Quickly now, I open a text chat, it's a bit laggy.

The sheer struggle of loading some text destroys the remaining systems. Me and my equipment are deleted from reality by an unknown overseer.

Humanity is not ready for instant messaging.
#Microsoft #Teams

RE: https://fedi.absturztau.be/objects/039d5d58-ec35-44e4-912e-3a42fea99c12

Sum of all human achievement contained within bash_history

Big Fediverse wants your posts today

Did not realise this but Ebay automatically opts users into AI Training on their personal data :blobvomiting:
You can turn it off here https://accountsettings.ebay.co.uk/ai-preferences

#ebay

Average instance admin meetup

@dushman@hollow.raccoon.quest have you considered fraud?

Me whenever a centralised service goes down (Twitter today)

@SuperDicq@minidisc.tokyo How dangerous is it?

Why is lead-free solder so expensive?
Why can you still buy leaded solder?? :btr_ikuyo_panic:
Surely the fumes it gives off are toxic?! :btr_bocchi_panic:

@solidsanek@outerheaven.club ikr, I heard they're good fun though, but if you have a hard floor they move almost too much and it's hard to keep still. Not tried them myself

@solidsanek@outerheaven.club Get those roller-skate wheel upgrades

@puniko :btr_ikuyo_panic:

@puniko you may have the zsh virus please contact the police :neocat_angel:

@puniko must be something wrong your Ubuntu, you should try sfc /scannow :aru_0130:

Save time and energy managing your Ubuntu software by preinstalling it
sudo apt install * -y
#ubuntu #linuxtips

@kaia@brotka.st is he gonna be OK :blobcatsad:

Top 10 security tools everyone should use :blobcatfluffevil:
- Online CRT to PEM certificate converter.
- Online password strength checker.
- Onli-
#security

I'm going to make a fedi-bot. Every time a film is announced the bot makes a post saying "I'm going to leak the full copy of <film> before it releases.".

Then, when one of the films is inevitably leaked by someone else but the trail goes cold, the authorities will investigate my bot as a potential culprit, I mean it's clearly admitted to the crime, that's an easy arrest, easy win.

So, they'll spend weeks to subpoena the ISP for the address of the IP address, it'll lead to a raspberry Pi I stole from a warehouse break-in 6 years prior stuffed into the ceiling of Birmingham New St McDonalds connected to their free Wi-Fi which is actually a proxy for a second Raspberry Pi I stole from an Oxford University Computer Science demonstration during an open-day 4 years prior using a SIM card I took from a 3G connected Kindle I found in the local tip, which I've connected to a car battery I stole out of a random Citreon in London a week ago, hooked up to nearby private solar-field I spliced off of somewhere in rural midlands.

On the Raspberry Pi will be gigabytes of compressed encrypted data each one named after a random slew of political party members and a date. The encryption passwords are 4000 characters of garbage, the targz files are all cat pictures I harvested from Reddit. It's worthless intel, they'll have wasted decades.

@puniko baaa