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XKCD Bot (xkcd@mastodon.com.br)'s status on Saturday, 26-Apr-2025 03:01:34 JST XKCD Bot

#3081 - PhD Timeline
In conversation about a month ago from mastodon.com.br permalink
Attachments
1. The comic is titled “US Ph.D. Program Timeline.” A vertical timeline outlines typical Ph.D. milestones: - Enrollment - Meet with advisor - Research proposal - Qualifying exams - Propose dissertation - Research and write dissertation - (strikethrough) Submit dissertation (instead) Get grabbed off the sidewalk outside your home by masked government agents - (strikethrough) Defend dissertation (instead) Be whisked out of the state before a judge has time to intervene - ???? Hidden text: "Rümeysa Öztürk was grabbed off the street in my town one month ago."
  https://media.mastodon.com.br/media_attachments/files/114/399/314/408/616/285/original/7db7b6e68a454e3c.png
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XKCD Bot (xkcd@mastodon.com.br)'s status on Saturday, 19-Apr-2025 14:42:20 JST XKCD Bot

#3078 - Anchor Screws
In conversation about a month ago from mastodon.com.br permalink
Attachments
1. The comic shows a cross-section of Earth's crust with tectonic plates. One plate is being subducted under another. A giant mechanical anchor screw with a wing nut is drawn through the subduction zone, as if it's holding the tectonic plates in place. Caption at the bottom: "Good news: Geophysicists are finally installing Earth's required anti-subduction anchor screws." Hidden text: "The biggest expense was installing the mantle ducts to keep the carbonate-silicate cycle operating."
  https://media.mastodon.com.br/media_attachments/files/114/362/332/356/623/169/original/40c54b55fda9e22d.png
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XKCD Bot (xkcd@mastodon.com.br)'s status on Tuesday, 08-Apr-2025 23:37:21 JST XKCD Bot

#3073 - Tariffs
In conversation about a month ago from mastodon.com.br permalink
Attachments
1. Person 1: You know how I blocked all news sites at the start of 2021 to avoid spoilers for Avatar 2, and then forgot to start checking them again? Person 2: Yeah, we've been meaning to talk to you about that... 1: Well, I just checked the news for the first time, and why is the economy tanking? 2: Uh, the president is mad at other countries and imposed lots of tariffs. 1: Wait, who's the president now? 2: Donald Trump. 1: ...Still?? 2: No, again. 1: Ok, fine, what's a tariff? Why is he doing this? 2: You know that pizzeria your company orders from? They don't buy anything from YOU, right? 1: Why would they? We do geotechnical landscape surveys. 2: Right, so they're ripping you off! YOU'RE paying THEM tons of money, and what are YOU getting for it? 1: I mean...pizza? 2: See? They're not helping YOUR business at all! What a ripoff! 1: What would they even buy from us? I guess we could survey a pizza... 2: Yes, perfect! You refuse to let the delivery driver past your security desk unless they Venmo you for an equivalent value of LiDAR scans. 1: Wouldn't they just stop taking our orders? 2: Perfect, balance restored! 1: Ok, but I still want pizza. 2: Can't you just make one? You have all that gear. 1: I don't think a pizza made with LiDAR diodes would be very good. 2: Ugh, why is everyone so picky about toppings? Hidden text: "[later] I don't get why our pizza slices have such terrible reviews; the geotextile-infused sauce gives the toppings incredible slope stability!"
  https://media.mastodon.com.br/media_attachments/files/114/299/398/264/539/426/original/4b9a8af4b0436e0f.png
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XKCD Bot (xkcd@mastodon.com.br)'s status on Saturday, 05-Apr-2025 13:34:38 JST XKCD Bot

#3072 - Stargazing 4
In conversation about a month ago from mastodon.com.br permalink
Attachments
1. This comic strip shows four panels featuring stick-figure characters stargazing, with one central figure (with shoulder-length hair) enthusiastically sharing astronomy facts. The figures are depicted in white on a black background, suggesting this plays at night. Panel 1: The central character stands among a bunch of others and says, "Welcome back to stargazing. According to some INCREDIBLY rude Yelp reviews, i'm "not informative" and "can't possibly be an astronomer" and "just kind of say words as they occur to me." I guess some losers just hate cool space facts!" Panel 2: That same group of small stick figures look upward at the night sky. The narrator points to the sky, saying, "Anyway, that dot is a "star". There are over 20 stars in the sky, and some of them are more than 100 years old." Panel 3: A close-up of the narrator. They continue: "Our galaxy is huge. You know the beach? That big wet sandbox? Well there are more grains of sand in the milky way than in all earth's beaches combined." Another voice responds with "Wow." and yet another with "...Wait." Panel 4: The narrator continues: "The galaxy has a black hole at the center. Sometimes stars fall in, which is HILARIOUS. Don't worry, it's okay to laugh. The gravity prevents signals from escaping, so they can't leave Yelp reviews." Hidden text: "We haven't actually seen a star fall in since we invented telescopes, but I have a list of ones I'm really hoping are next."
  https://media.mastodon.com.br/media_attachments/files/114/283/060/025/641/676/original/fcdb13632480e8a7.png
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XKCD Bot (xkcd@mastodon.com.br)'s status on Wednesday, 26-Feb-2025 23:18:39 JST XKCD Bot

#3056 - RNA
In conversation about 3 months ago from mastodon.com.br permalink
Attachments
1. 2040s: RNA formed the basis for life each of the five known times it arose on the early Earth.
  https://media.mastodon.com.br/media_attachments/files/114/070/605/398/711/156/original/617e8d21db9061cb.png
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XKCD Bot (xkcd@mastodon.com.br)'s status on Saturday, 22-Feb-2025 02:42:22 JST XKCD Bot

#3049 - Incoming Asteroid
In conversation about 3 months ago from mastodon.com.br permalink
Attachments
1. Comic with the headline "An asteroid is headed straight for earth! That's..." A logarithmic scale labeled "Asteroid size" increases from 1 cm to 10,000 km. For each size category, there is a corresponding message about the potential consequences: 1 cm: "Good news! Meteors are pretty!" 30 cm: "Great news! You might see a fireball!" 2 meter: "Ok news, unless you have expensive windows or are very unlucky." 100 meters: "Bad news, especially if you live near the city it's aimed at." 1 km: "Bad news, especially if you live on the continent it's aimed at." 10 km: "Bad news for your species." 50 km: "Bad news for your phylum." 200 km: "Bad news for your biosphere." 2,000 km: "Good news for any life that might someday evolve on Earth's new moon." 25,000 km: "Bad news for whatever planet is about to get hit by Earth." Hidden text: "The bottom ones are also potentially bad news for any other planets in our solar system that have been counting on Earth having a stable orbit."
  https://media.mastodon.com.br/media_attachments/files/113/981/896/048/258/235/original/7424074aef29b64b.png
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XKCD Bot (xkcd@mastodon.com.br)'s status on Saturday, 22-Feb-2025 02:41:42 JST XKCD Bot

#3051 - Hardwood
In conversation about 3 months ago from mastodon.com.br permalink
Attachments
1. Two stick figures stand facing each other. One asks, “So you’re saying that if we tear up these layers, there’s hardwood flooring under here?” and the other replies, “…I mean, sort of…” Text below reads, “Home remodelers learn about the Carboniferous.” Hidden text: "They may technically have been softwoods at some point, but they definitely aren't now."
  https://media.mastodon.com.br/media_attachments/files/114/005/960/690/903/714/original/8811b97eab064b01.png
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XKCD Bot (xkcd@mastodon.com.br)'s status on Saturday, 22-Feb-2025 02:41:23 JST XKCD Bot

#3050 - Atom
In conversation about 3 months ago from mastodon.com.br permalink
Attachments
1. The comic features three stick-figure characters examining an object that kinda looks like a pizza, representing an atom. The first character, holding the object, complains, "Ugh, the electron cloud is so weird and wobbly! I hate it!" The second character, reaching out to touch it, asks, "Why is it so wet? How can it even be wet?" The third character, looking distressed, states, "I don’t want to do physics anymore." Below, the caption reads: "When our lab was building the quantum expander device, we didn't expect our first discovery to be 'Atoms are really gross.'" Hidden text: "What's weirder is that muons turned out to be INCREDIBLY cute."
  https://media.mastodon.com.br/media_attachments/files/113/991/215/098/939/716/original/5a88055c8e64402b.png
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XKCD Bot (xkcd@mastodon.com.br)'s status on Saturday, 08-Feb-2025 09:14:32 JST XKCD Bot

#3048 - Suspension Bridge
In conversation about 3 months ago from mastodon.com.br permalink
Attachments
1. Top panel labeled “Traditional Suspension Bridge” shows a standard suspension bridge spanning water, with towers, cables, and cars driving across. Bottom panel labeled “Improved Suspension Bridge” shows the road dramatically draped over the bridge towers, forming steep slopes and ramps. A truck is partway up one slope, and a car is airborne over a labeled “Fun Jumps” section. Below the roadway, a boat passes in the water. Text labels indicate “Less Cable” and “More Clearance.” Hidden text: "As a first step, they can put in a secondary deck, to help drivers try it out and find out how fun the jumps are. After a while no one will use the old flat deck and they can remove it."
  https://media.mastodon.com.br/media_attachments/files/113/964/908/987/054/775/original/56d1f9bb5e8e544b.png
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XKCD Bot (xkcd@mastodon.com.br)'s status on Wednesday, 05-Feb-2025 13:13:59 JST XKCD Bot

#3046 - Stromatolites
In conversation about 3 months ago from mastodon.com.br permalink
Attachments
1. In this six-panel stick-figure comic, two characters appear: one wearing a small hat, the other without. In Panel 1, both are shown in silhouette walking across a grassy hill, with no dialogue. In Panel 2, while walking on a gentle slope, the hatted figure says, “I learned something today. I went on one of those family tree sites and kept clicking back, and it turns out I’m related to stromatolites!” In Panel 3, the figure without a hat asks, “The bacterial mats?” and the hatted figure replies, “Yeah! A few billion years back, on my mitochondria’s side.” In Panel 4, the hatted figure explains, “My archaean ancestors absorbed some bacteria that were cousins of stromatolites. That’s how I got mitochondria. Cell nuclei, too.” In Panel 5, the figure without a hat says, “I think there are still living stromatolites. You could get in touch.” and the hatted figure, now sitting down, responds, “Nah, they’re probably busy. I don’t want to bother them.” In Panel 6, both figures lie on the hill in silhouette. The figure without a hat asks, “So what ARE you going to do with this knowledge? Nothing?” and the hatted figure answers, “Lying on a hill in the warm sun is an old family tradition.” Hidden text: "If only my ancestors had been fortunate enough to marry into the branch of the bacteria family that could photosynthesize, like all my little green cousins here."
  https://media.mastodon.com.br/media_attachments/files/113/943/321/464/698/587/original/2a41dcafe3c94bd3.png
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XKCD Bot (xkcd@mastodon.com.br)'s status on Tuesday, 28-Jan-2025 08:15:22 JST XKCD Bot

#3043 - Muons
In conversation about 4 months ago from mastodon.com.br permalink
Attachments
1. Update: I've been banned from the physics department for the way I pronounce "Doppler effect."
  https://media.mastodon.com.br/media_attachments/files/113/902/092/687/564/833/original/76e6d2c25f4a0268.png
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XKCD Bot (xkcd@mastodon.com.br)'s status on Tuesday, 07-Jan-2025 20:45:12 JST XKCD Bot

#3033 - Origami Black Hole
In conversation about 4 months ago from mastodon.com.br permalink
Attachments
1. The image shows a series of steps for folding am origami. The headline reads, "How to Fold a REAL Origami Black Hole:" Steps 1 to 9 are shown as a smaller and smaller rectangular piece of paper with arrows indicating it should be folded in half lengthwise, again. For "Steps 10–189", a text box reads, “Fold paper in half another 180 or so times.” Step 190: The paper is now reduced to a small black dot with a label that reads, "Black hole!" Hidden text: "You may notice the first half of these instructions are similar to the instructions for a working nuclear fusion device. After the first few dozen steps, be sure to press down firmly and fold quickly to overcome fusion pressure."
  https://media.mastodon.com.br/media_attachments/files/113/765/961/355/985/733/original/d5f844c8c8b8ccad.png
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XKCD Bot (xkcd@mastodon.com.br)'s status on Friday, 27-Dec-2024 00:26:10 JST XKCD Bot

#3029 - Sun Avoidance
In conversation about 5 months ago from mastodon.com.br permalink
Attachments
1. The image depicts a leaderboard titled "Sun Avoidance Skill Leaderboard," with three columns: Rank, Mission, and Sun Nearest Miss. Leaderboard details: Rank 4303858, Mission: Mariner-10 - 69.0 Million KM. Rank 4303859, Mission: Helios 1 - 46.4 Million KM. Rank 4303860, Mission: BepiColombo - 45.8 Million KM. Rank 4303861, Mission: Messenger - 45.3 Million KM. Rank 4303862, Mission: Solar Orbiter - 43.8 Million KM. Rank 4303863, Mission: Helios 2 - 43.3 Million KM. Rank 4303864, Mission: Parker - 6.17 Million KM. Rank 1 to 4303857 is labeled "All Other Expeditions in Human History." Caption below the leaderboard: "Congratulations to the Parker Solar Probe for setting a new record for 'Worst Job Avoiding the Sun.'" Hidden text: "C'mon, ESA Solar Orbiter team, just give the Parker probe a LITTLE nudge at aphelion. Crash it into the sun. Fulfill the dream of Icarus. It is your destiny."
  https://media.mastodon.com.br/media_attachments/files/113/716/416/261/689/396/original/e2325eeb2b80e58b.png
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XKCD Bot (xkcd@mastodon.com.br)'s status on Tuesday, 03-Dec-2024 05:09:44 JST XKCD Bot

#3019 - Advent Calendar Advent Calendar
In conversation about 6 months ago from mastodon.com.br permalink
Attachments
1. The image shows an advent calendar with 25 numbered doors corresponding to a day leading up to Christmas. Each door contains a number of advent calendars. The caption reads: "I like advent calendars, so I got an advent calendar that gives me a new one every day until Christmas." Hidden text: "The growth rate of items per day may may seem absurd, but it's actually much less than the acceleration in the 12 Days of Christmas song."
  https://media.mastodon.com.br/media_attachments/files/113/584/000/556/107/837/original/52e1ee6dbe9a8c8b.png
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XKCD Bot (xkcd@mastodon.com.br)'s status on Saturday, 16-Nov-2024 07:22:16 JST XKCD Bot

#3012 - The Future of Orion
In conversation about 6 months ago from mastodon.com.br permalink
Attachments
1. A four-panel comic showing the constellation Orion over time: Panel 1 ("Orion Today:") The classic shape of the Orion constellation as seen today is drawn in black dots connected by lines. Panel 2 ("Predicted Changes:") The stars are shown with slight adjustments in position. The red text "Star Movement" indicates the anticipated shifts, and "Star Death (Betelgeuse)" points to where Betelgeuse may eventually vanish. Panel 3 ("Orion in the Future:") The adjusted star positions form a slightly altered pattern. A note in red, "Suggested New Lines," implies a new arrangement for the constellation. Panel 4 Using the suggested new lines, Orion now resembles a T. rex. The stars are connected to outline the shape of a cartoonish green T. rex, with the star configuration adapted to match this new interpretation. Hidden text: "Dinosaur Cosmics"
  https://media.mastodon.com.br/media_attachments/files/113/488/213/103/616/122/original/cc981aad8abed837.png
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XKCD Bot (xkcd@mastodon.com.br)'s status on Tuesday, 22-Oct-2024 08:49:17 JST XKCD Bot

#3001 - Temperature Scales
In conversation about 7 months ago from mastodon.com.br permalink
Attachments
1. In my new scale, °X, 0 is Earths' record lowest surface temperature, 50 is the global average, and 100 is the record highest, with a linear scale between each point and adjustment every year as needed.
  https://media.mastodon.com.br/media_attachments/files/113/347/894/123/446/612/original/26b0a12141e35e2a.png
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XKCD Bot (xkcd@mastodon.com.br)'s status on Tuesday, 23-Jul-2024 09:42:56 JST XKCD Bot

#2962 - President Venn Diagram
In conversation about 10 months ago from mastodon.com.br permalink
Attachments
1. Hard to imagine political rhetoric more microtargeted at me than 'I love Venn diagrams. I really do, I love Venn diagrams. It's just something about those three circles.'
  https://media.mastodon.com.br/media_attachments/files/112/832/859/896/380/557/original/4cef601ced6289ae.png
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XKCD Bot (xkcd@mastodon.com.br)'s status on Thursday, 14-Dec-2023 07:48:45 JST XKCD Bot

#2867 - DateTime
In conversation Thursday, 14-Dec-2023 07:48:45 JST from mastodon.com.br permalink
Attachments
1. It's not just time zones and leap seconds. SI seconds on Earth are slower because of relativity, so there are time standards for space stuff (TCB, TGC) that use faster SI seconds than UTC/Unix time. T2 - T1 = [God doesn't know and the Devil isn't telling.]
  https://media.mastodon.com.br/media_attachments/files/111/575/532/291/757/621/original/792c9a3c087ed826.png

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