Notices by Vagina Museum (vagina_museum@masto.ai), page 3

It's been a while since we've shown you a weird fad in medieval Christian art, so here's one you might enjoy - Lactatio Bernardi: The Lactation of St Bernard.

Date unknown, courtesy of Bodleian Library.

Good morning, it's time for another cursed patent! And guess what, this one is yet another overengineered douche. Meet the Instrument For Treating the Vagina and Uterus, patented by Christopher C. Parker in 1883.

To be clear, Parker's instrument is not merely an overengineered douche. It's what would happen if a douche and a speculum had an irresponsible one night stand and made a very, very horrible baby together.

The way it works is that it goes into the vagina. The little cup on the top suctions onto the cervix, and the arms shift up and open up the vagina a little more.

The aim of the cup is to either keep whatever is being sprayed up the vagina out of the cervix, or to intensively spray the stuff into the uterus. It's a multipurpose overengineered douche.

The purpose of the speculum-style arms is to un-wrinkle the vaginal walls for optimal douching power.

We hope we don't need to tell you that the vagina needs absolutely NONE of these interventions, and that sounds uncomfortable as hell.

And the thing is, Christopher C. Parker, in his patent documentation, at no point explains why one might possibly *need* to use such a doohickey. That's how utterly unnecessary yet thoroughly cursed that this gadget is.

The patent office loved it though, and appreciated the novelty of a douche-speculum hybrid.

This is a message from the Museum of Mankind. Look at these treasures from the Plastic Age. Can you even imagine living as a miserable Londoner in such barbaric times? In their crude way, these people did their best to amuse themselves, in any way possible.

The Museum of Mankind team are especially proud to acquire this precious 21st century ritual training set. A man would use this to symbolically re-enact his farming prowess during times of famine. His pattern-making mind could create ritual designs. Only a man was sufficiently dexterous.

Vagina Museum team here, logging back on. Sorry about that. We have no idea how Eugène Delacroissant got hold of our password. What's going on at the Museum of Mankind? It looks like they're applying gender roles where it makes no sense to. And this happens all the time...

On this day in 1533, Italian anatomist Hieronymus Fabricius was born. In his work on foetal formation, he illustrated the uterus and vulva, somewhat idiosyncratically, and also illustrated the clitoris, fairly well.

From De formato foetu, 1604.

In May 1988, legislation passed in the UK "prohibiting the promotion of homosexuality" by local authorities. It was in effect for a decade and a half, with massive impact on the LGBT+ community. This is a brief history of Section 28.

We don't expect a small child to understand everything in our exhibitions, just like another museum wouldn't expect a small child to understand the social context of German Expressionism or advanced sauropod taxonomy. A museum is a part of a journey of learning - and museums are fun for kids!

Small children are welcome in the Vagina Museum on any days, although on Wednesday mornings, we hold special viewing sessions where your little ones can be as noisy as they like! Admission is, as always, free https://www.vaginamuseum.co.uk/accessmornings

There's no age limit to the Vagina Museum. Families are welcome, with children of all ages. Nobody is too young to learn about anatomy and correct terms for parts of their bodies!

Can a museum exhibition contribute to science? Yes!!!! More than 12,000 people visited our exhibition, Endometriosis: Into the Unknown. Visitors were invited to contribute data to a pain scale. Thousands of responses were made throughout the exhibition...

We've taken her inside in case she gets cold, wet or lonely.

To answer your questions:
-The little Vagina Museum dalek is made of stone or concrete, she's very heavy
-We are watching her closely just in case she's a Weeping Angel hybrid
-We have a lift. We're fucked if her intentions are nefarious.

To answer another dalek-related question: we know our visitors. They're awesome. Many are not typical/stereotypical museum visitors. It's entirely possible that a visitor:
1. Owns a concrete dalek
2. Takes it out with them
3. Is sufficiently neurodivergent to not notice a heavy concrete object falling out of their bag.

btw did you know we do neurodiversity-friendly quiet mornings on Thursdays? So if you find the sound of videos and background music overwhelming, and would like stim toys available to you, no questions asked, these weekly sessions are for you! https://www.vaginamuseum.co.uk/accessmornings

IMPORTANT LOST PROPERTY QUESTION! Did anyone visiting the Vagina Museum yesterday lose a little dalek?

the original "see you next tuesday" pun