Notices by CynAq Alt 🤘 (cynaq@c.im)

@neversosimple

One very important distinction that I missed was that when a polytropic (or let's say NT) person enters the room, they perceive the room as a whole with the mood and everything BUT UNCONSCIOUSLY.

When I enter a room, I become aware of every detail CONSCIOUSLY.

Hence the inability to read and react to social cues.

There are just too many cues to CONSCIOUSLY interact with and I don't have the intuitive machinery for it.

@actuallyautistic

@neversosimple

I guess I thought it was a more aggressive and obvious neurological preference. Now, after the test, I did some more reading and it's actually quite subtle in its expression.

This may be because I actually am quite heavily monotropic that I just never realized how strongly I was operating in that mode.

A good example would be that I just thought about stuff like not realizing you're hungry or need the bathroom etc. I thought it would feel more like being absent minded or a lack of awareness for some reason. I'm quite the opposite, like, I'm hyper aware of almost everything. It's really difficult for me to get in that hyperfocus state for example, even for my special interests.

Now I read and listened to people talk about it some more, and I see that it's more about the resistance to change states, rather than being unable to perceive said states.

I realized that I find it difficult to hyperfocus on my special interests DESPITE I would really like to do that and stay there forever, because I absolutely hate being taken out of my hyperfocus.

I think I just learned to mask and adapt as a child, and that created the immense anxiety I felt literally my entire life. I think I'm just not letting myself be my true self, and this questionnaire kinda opened a new way of looking at it.

@actuallyautistic

@neversosimple

That makes so much sense.

It's also one of those things that confused me first.

See, when I walk into a room, I notice EVERYTHING. How many people in there, what is the general -and individual- mood, what is the decoration like, what color and brightness is the lighting, is music playing, if yes, what kind, if it's a residential room, what would be the average income of the occupant... The list goes on, and thus, I didn't think I fit the profile.

What I failed to notice was that ANALYZING THE ROOM was a special interest AND a survival strategy for me, so I just hyperfocused on the entire room, and during that time I probably missed a lot of social interactions, messed up my facial expressions etc.

You can see why I was confused

@actuallyautistic

I just did that #Monotropism test.

I went in blind and didn't think I'd score too high because as far as I understand what monotropism proposes, I didn't think it fit my profile very well. I tried to answer the questions as accurately as I could, without overthinking.

Well...

The result says I'm more monotropic than 73% of autistic people and 98% of allistic people.

I guess I was misunderstanding what monotropism would feel like, if these results are anywhere near accurate, because I'm quite surprised, to say the least.

Would anyone else like to chime in and discuss this with me a bit? This result was not at all what I was expecting.

#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD @actuallyautistic

Edit: this is the questionnaire https://dlcincluded.github.io/MQ/

@danjac @cstross that particular self-own was pretty popular on Reddit back when I could still be arsed to argue LLM “intelligence” was nothing like human language processing let alone intelligence.

People loved to degrade and dehumanize themselves to prove how forward thinking they were, paradoxically.