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@neversosimple

I guess I thought it was a more aggressive and obvious neurological preference. Now, after the test, I did some more reading and it's actually quite subtle in its expression.

This may be because I actually am quite heavily monotropic that I just never realized how strongly I was operating in that mode.

A good example would be that I just thought about stuff like not realizing you're hungry or need the bathroom etc. I thought it would feel more like being absent minded or a lack of awareness for some reason. I'm quite the opposite, like, I'm hyper aware of almost everything. It's really difficult for me to get in that hyperfocus state for example, even for my special interests.

Now I read and listened to people talk about it some more, and I see that it's more about the resistance to change states, rather than being unable to perceive said states.

I realized that I find it difficult to hyperfocus on my special interests DESPITE I would really like to do that and stay there forever, because I absolutely hate being taken out of my hyperfocus.

I think I just learned to mask and adapt as a child, and that created the immense anxiety I felt literally my entire life. I think I'm just not letting myself be my true self, and this questionnaire kinda opened a new way of looking at it.

@actuallyautistic