Notices by Preston von Gabbleduck (backupbear@aus.social), page 2

@hannu_ikonen I read "My existence hurts" as one of the simplest/elegant summaries of adulthood possible :)

Mini-blep! #CatsOfMastodon

Open web page:

1. Dismiss popup with some shit I don’t even read
2. Do the cookie dance
3. Dismiss popup lower-right corner asking me if I’d like to chat to Shazelle, the autobot director of despair
4. Answer ‘No’ to the stupid popup asking me if I’d like to accept notifications from the page
5. Increase browser font size.
6. Page dynamically readjusts.
7. Increase font size.
8. Page dynamically readjusts.
9. Increase font size you BASTARDS.
10. Start reading.
11. Popup, “How would you rate our site?”
12. Become a hermit.

Guy: <gets very weird on Grindr, I’ve had enough and block>
Half an hour later: <Same guy, new profile> “Why did you block me?”

Oh dear, you fucking answered your own question.

Me: "I finally achieved Inbox Nero."
Them: "Don't you mean Inbox Zero?"
Me: "No, I played some music while I burnt it all down."
Them: "That sounds way better. How do I sign on?"

Dear $retailer. Just because I bought 3 products from you in an order should not mean I have to:

- Unsubscribe from your inspo emails
- Unsubscribe from your updates
- Unsubscribe from your exciting-new-collaboration-with-another-product emails
- Unsubscribe from your emails asking me to review product 1
- Unsubscribe from your emails asking me to review product 2
- Unsubscribe from your emails asking me to review product 3
- Unsubscribe from your emails asking me to rate your company
- Unsubscribe from your emails asking me to rate my general shopping experience

Signed,
Every. Internet. User.