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   Preston von Gabbleduck (backupbear@aus.social)'s status on Friday, 09-Aug-2024 13:07:51 JST Preston von Gabbleduck

   "Dear Sir, we are reaching out to you to advise that your account data has been regrettably exposed in a data breach.

   To help secure yourself from cyber-impersonation, we recommend taking the following immediate steps:

   1. Change your name. Use a mix of upper and lower case characters, numbers and symbols. For instance, have you considered the potential benefits in a name such as 'P3t3r $mithe_'?

   2. Move to a country in a significantly different time zone that you can claim a change of your birthday (+/- 1 day).

   3. If you have children, send them to live with their Nanna and adopt new children with different names.

   4. If you have pets, dispose of them.

   5. Failing the above, we recommend moving to a small roughly built log-cabin in the Mongolian Hinterlands and becoming a hermit. Be sure to leave no forwarding address.

   Again we regret that your data has been exposed in a #DataBreach and if you have any questions on the above, please hesitate to contact us."