Notices by Preston von Gabbleduck (backupbear@aus.social)

My "Facebook memories" just prompted me on this old chestnut and it made me laugh again. #StarTrek #Gay

@sortius Haha, the best thing about people who put Myers-Briggs on their Grindr/Scruff/etc. profile is it gives me an instant reason to block :D

HR: "Do you have a moment? We just want to ask you about your self-assessment?"
Me: "Sure."
HR: "So, for 'personality type', we were expecting something from Myers-Briggs. You know, like ENJF."
Me: "Oh?"
HR: "You selected 'Other' and filled in, 'Chaotic Good'."
Me: "Yes, that's right."
HR: "Why?"
Me: "Because I use the term 'fortnight' as often as possible in communications in a US-based company, replace 'z's with 's'es, and convert dates everywhere to ISO8601."
HR: "Well yes we can see how that would be classified as 'Chaotic Good', but we were expecting something grounded in science."
Me: "So why were you asking for Myers-Briggs?"

#Microfiction

Dear Restaurants:

If your "homepage" is a Facebook page and on the Facebook page you offer a Linktree Link and I click that and it offers me a link to your Menu and that link takes me back to your Facebook page with an album showing two photos, and both of those photos are for your drinks menu rather than your food menu ...

... I've well and truly given up and decided you're just too exhausting to deal with.

Periodic reminder that if someone gets all snobby about the value of the suit they're wearing, the only appropriate response is:

"Yeah, your business drag is on point, I guess." *

For added bonus, "Extra sequins might have helped."

--
* Can confirm this shuts up an arrogant senior sales exec.

Something I still find jarring even after many years of working daily with Americans ...

... the horror they express when you casually say something like, "going to the doctor's this afternoon".

For them it genuinely always seems that going to the doctor is a last minute act of desperation and financial uncertainty.

Simple things to be grateful for.

This fight is unseemly and it would be better for everyone if they relocated themselves to Mars to conduct it without disturbing us.

Remember for pride month to exuberantly declare, "Happy Pridemas!" to conservatives to give them a friendly little nudge towards apoplexy and total meltdown by adding in a seeming war against xmas reference too.

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Cardinal: Survivor.

The 252 cardinals of the catholic church will now be dropped off onto a remote Fijian island in 4 teams of 63.

Over the next 4 weeks they'll compete in a grueling set of challenges with none of the modern comforts of home.

Who will be able to bless the boiled water into wine?

Who will be able to make a meal for their team from 5 small fishes?

Who will outlast, outwit and outplay until there is one sole cardinal crowned pope?

I wonder what will be the cutoff point where a tech giant decides to move its headquarters out of the USA.

Laptop sticker installed.

My goodness, a moron is dangerous enough being left in charge of a coffee order for a single flat white. But to put a narcissistic sociopathic moron in charge of an entire country ...

Them: "What day is it again?"
Me: "Blursday. It's definitely Blursday."
Them: "Ah, Thursday."
Me: "No, Blursday."
Them: "What's Blursday?"
Me: "When every day of the week blurs together because you've lost all sense of time."
Them: "So every day is Blursday?"
Me: "For sure."

Conversation this week:

Them: "How did you learn about regex? Javascript? Python?"
Me: "sed"
Them: "Oh I've not heard of that. Is that new?"
Me: <laughed in greybeard>

@Em0nM4stodon @otfrom I convinced some non-tech family members of this by explaining "Imagine if the government mandated that you kept a copy of your house keys in a box on the property that everyone knew about but the government would make illegal for anyone other than law enforcement to use."

lol, someone posing a question along the lines of "after you're laid off, how long should it be before you stop answering emails from former colleagues about projects you were working on?"

Honey, the answer is a femtosecond after they stop paying you.

I've always lived by the rule that you see the true measure of a person by how they treat people in the service industry – cleaners, waitstaff, etc.

But let me add, for those who are confused: you also see the true measure of a person if they do a Nazi salute.

Man who became a billionaire by erasing individual privacy annoyed his private words are becoming public.

https://www.404media.co/zuckerberg-says-everything-i-say-leaks-in-leaked-meeting-audio/

Apropos of {waves hands around}, everyone in global tech who has not read IBM and the Holocaust should fucking well hurry up and read it.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IBM_and_the_Holocaust