Notices by Rishi Sunak :verified: (rishisunak@fuckgov.org), page 5

I have noticed that the infamous Mx Yassie J has moved accounts.

MI5 are working hard to capture the terrorist threat posed by their group, including the complete shut down of the Fediverse server 0w0 Dot Islamic State.

You cannot hide from justice forever. We will find you wherever you are inside the Labyrinth.

As we head into an election year, the Great British public have a decision to make.

It's a choice between becoming a country of crying wojaks under Labour, or a country of chads under the Conservatives.

Happy New Year to everyone, but not especially to Houthi rebels. You fucked with my boats.

@joebiden @yassie_j
I would never let well-known terrorists work for this government. We will stand up to Yaseenist terrorism and any other kind of terrorist threats. Except if they offer us oil.

@yassie_j @joebiden
I will deport your family, Mx J.

Fuckin hate this job, there's so many snakes around xx

@Amps
I'm not boring. I'm very fun. Last week, I burnt ten-pound notes in front of the homeless. You Internet warriors should get a life.

As part of my government's historic investment in infrastructure, motorways and primary routes will soon have boost pads to help speed up traffic.

I extend warmest regards to Geert Wilders and his Party for Freedom, for their victory in tonight's Dutch elections. It's fantastic that the people of the Netherlands have chosen the British path forward.

The only reason why I brought David Cameron back was because I have a huge man crush on him.

@yassie_j @rishisunak what do we do about this

@h @yassie_j good question Ms Besties. I will ask the armed forces to launch rockets at these targets in return.

Our Government is committed to our plan to house illegal migrants in offshore barge facilities.

Critics have said that this is against the human rights of these migrants.

I say to these critics that our government does not even give human rights to citizens either.

My government is committed to stamping out terrorism. All terrorists will now have to sign a form before committing any atrocities against British nationals.

The UK will cut all diplomatic channels with :transgender_flag:.

This is because I simply do not like those people, because they are far prettier than me.

Who is up priming their minister, currently?

The UK stands with Israel in this trying time. British values are the same as Israeli values. Democracy. Free speech. Sending death squads into colonial territories.

If you are a podcaster, blogger, or citizen journalist resident in the UK, you must now register with Ofcom. This is because I cry every night when I hear someone criticise me. :( It's not fair. Don't talk about me when I'm not in the room!

@joebiden that's fantastic. It would be great to appear on before the next election.

@marcos thank you, great to work with such an honourable gentleman.