Notices by essjax (essjax@essjax.com)

Admiral Ackbar voice: "It's a Trap"
#Caturday #CatsOfMastodon

Someone's having some fun in The Warehouse
#BigBrotherIsListening

@OhOkKay none of that annoys me. I'm delighted to share this space with these marvellous folk.

OK, people who boost a million things a day without posting anything themselves is a bit annoying. Luckily you can mute retoots from an account. I do this a lot.

@OhOkKay frankly I'm just delighted you're all here, because I couldn't go back to mega-corp frat-boy racist bigoted social media. I need you folks to stay around, please be as annoying as you want to be. I promise you can't be as annoying as the alternative 🙏

If I've met 100 Americans, 99 of them were lovely, decent folk. This might be skewed towards Americans who travel, because I haven't spent a lot of time in the States, but still, it bears mentioning.
Y'all good people, I feel for you. ❤️

I saw a headline quoting our Finance Minister saying "Kiwis are paying too much for staples" and genuinely spent a while wondering why such a rarely used tiny office supply item might be on anyone's radar.

Nom nom nom nom
#BeesOfMastodon

I forgot what this was (a gift from Japan) so I used Google Translate.

I see Beds R Us have a "Massive Bed Sale".

Shame, I'm only in market for a normal size bed.

I trusted Google Maps today for probably the last time.
It led me nearly an hour down gravel roads, supposedly the quick way, only to find a locked gate, private land. Absolute garbage, lost in the middle of nowhere.
Can you still buy maps?

Sup?
#BirdsOfMastodon

Reminded today of my favourite typo of all time.
Responding to an unhappy customer, my colleague sent...

"As a gesture of goodwill, we'd like to offer you a discocunt"

💫 ✨

I'm 90% delighted that so many fam travel so far to come stay here, and 10% "how about you folks go for a little road trip while you're here? Have you seen South Island? It's great!"
#SmallHouse
#SoManyFolks
#SoMany

It's my birthday weekend. I believe boosts are customary. Up to you, no worries if not. It's OK. I don't mind either way. You do you.

@thomasfuchs I voted for a woman here in NZ and I'm still cishet male a couple of years later. Baffling eh.

🕳️ testing please ignore 🕳️

@Edent I had my bank call me about suspected fraud and they had no way for me to confirm they were legit. I said I'd call them back and they didn't have an external number I could call. Their tone suggested nobody had ever checked. One of the biggest banks in Australia / NZ.

If you're willingly going swimming in the river through Paris, you're in seine.

@rimu concur
https://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/AAAAAAAAA!

@thomasfuchs excuse me while I just yoink fartwaffle and add it to my lexicon of curseless swears, thank you kindly