Notices by Col (countcol@mastodonapp.uk)

It doesn't matter how good the soap smells.
Never come out of the toilets smelling your fingers.

Dogs come to you when called.
Cats will take a message and get back to you.....

If printing money would end poverty, printing diplomas would end stupidity.

Scientist Hannah Ritchie started looking at the data and not headlines. If countries all stick to their climate pledges, the temperature rise by the end of the century won’t be much above 2C. That’s still not terrific, obviously. But it’s not the “devastating” outcome most of us have been led to expect.
We passed peak per capita carbon emissions about 10 years ago, and we’ll probably pass peak total emissions at some point in the 2020s. We now emit about the same as someone in the 1850s.

Not all construction work is equally enjoyable.
For example, enlarging a drilled hole is boring, but fastening pieces of metal together is riveting.

I told a joke on a zoom meeting and nobody laughed.
It turns out I'm not even remotely funny.

Adulthood is where one day you get a little sleepy and then you stay that way for the rest of your life.

Therapist: Love yourself.
Me: I'm not my type.

Cleaning the house with a toddler is like trying to rake leaves up during a tornado.

My favorite kind of coffee is the kind where nobody talks to me while I'm drinking it.

Him: "Honey, what's the name of this meal youve cooked?"
Her: "Why do you want to know?"
Him: "In case they ask me in casualty."

If you make something easier for yourself, they call you lazy. If you make something easier for everyone then they call you a genius.

Even my mobile phone wants to abandon me. It sent me a notification stating that it needs space.

Recipes should include photos of the mess they had to clean up after cooking.

I see it.
I like it.
I want it.
I check the price.
I put it back.

Growing up there were only 2 ways for kids to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents!

I find it helpful to organise tasks into 3 categories:
1. Things I won't do now.
2. Things I won't do later.
3. Things I'll never do.

I don't let anyone ruin my day.
It's my day.
I'll ruin it by myself.

The fastest way to achieve happiness is to make other people happy. You go first......

@aaribaud We should start a swap scheme. When our bowls are full they go online with other people's and are swapped. Imaginecwhat you might get? Wait that's a stupid idea, I've over thought this haven't I? 😂