I cleaned out two drawers today; please clap.

@kingrat @davidtheeviloverlord 😂 I’ll find a child-friendly way of saying this.

Can anyone help me explain to children why English is so completely un phonetic and has a million exceptions to every rule??

@davidtheeviloverlord I’m trying to find a way to say that to kids who don’t get the “three raccoons in a trench coat” kinda joke yet!

I’ll tell you all: teenage me would be horrified at how absolutely ecstatic I am to have NOTHING to do on a Friday night except sit alone on a couch in my pajamas, alternately reading and watching TV.

How far I have fallen 😂

My friend asked me to finish a Christmas stocking her grandma was knitting for my friends son when she died.

It’s almost done; I just have to do the toe.

I’ve never made a top-down sock in my life. I always do toe up. Please send help; there is no pattern.

#knitting

This is my view every time I prepare any food at the counter.

@kingrat this is in the US

Im looking at car rental for an upcoming trip and… how are all their websites telling me you can fit ONE singular suitcase in the trunk of a compact, economy, or intermediate car?

I have what’s probably considered an economy car (fits into compact spaces) and if I cleaned the trunk out I could fit AT LEAST 2-3 suitcases plus a bunch of carry on luggage.

@kingrat “and the more I disparage my own appearance, the better of a person I am!”

I am finding myself annoyed with white people who have to be super self-deprecating about being white when they’re trying to say something anti-racist.

“I’m pasty white and even I think…”

“I’m as white as curdled milk and…”

“I look like Casper and white out had a baby and…”

It just bothers me and feels totally unnecessary. Can we do it without that?

@kingrat they consider it done except for green paint and signage.

And we all know how much attention drivers pay to paint and signage.

Friends, I present to you what will be the new “protected” bike lane in front of my house.

There are cement barriers that make it protected. Clearly they are spaced too far apart because the cars are having no problem at all getting into the lane.

@kingrat feels like being cheated when I dream things like that

@kingrat lol I can’t stand adult tantrums.

Today I saw an autistic student who is on home study (upper elementary school) because the classroom was really not working for him.

I had seen him last school year and we like each other but he's had several months off of any kind of school and had a major major meltdown when he got here. I told his mom it was fine; I could deal with it.

I let him scream for a few minutes (texted my next door neighbor to tell her what was up) and then said, "You know, Zora hasn't been feeling well and I think she's a little confused now because she's glad to see you but she is also pretty worried that something is wrong."

He said all the usual things: he hates me, he hates writing, he hates math, he doesn't want to be here and he hates ME (trying to get a reaction of course)

I told him that I totally understood that he was angry and didn't want to be here but I know he likes Zora, so maybe he could start by just petting her ears. He did and said, Oooh, her ears are really soft even though the rest of her isn't that soft.

He asked why she has whiskers in so many places on her face and I said I wondered the same thing (I did actually) and he asked if he could feel her whiskers. I told him that whiskers are very very sensitive for dogs and cats so he has to be really gentle and watch her to see if she doesn't like it.

She didn't and he said OH MAN I'm so DISAPPOINTED because her whiskers feel SO NEAT and now I can't touch them because she doesn't like it!

I thanked him for listening to her body language and said I was so proud of him for doing what was best for Zora and not just what he wanted.

We did the entire session on the floor near Zora. She scooted over to put her head on his leg and he asked if that meant she liked him. I said not only does that mean she likes you but also she feels safe with you.

At the end he ran out and said MOM MOM MOM (he loves to shout) ZORA LEANED ON ME AND FEELS SAFE WITH ME

@kingrat 4.7 based in Berkeley. Didn’t feel small here!

@kingrat thanks.

I don’t know why I was thinking about this today but it occurred to me. And I never want to call the cops but..

I am 50 years old and I just realized that I don’t know if you’re supposed to call the police if you get into a car crash. One that doesn’t involve an ambulance- do you have to call the cops for documentation or do you only exchange info?