Notices by Catherynne M. Valente (catvalente@wandering.shop), page 2

From my new essay Move Fast and Break People Pt. 4: The Apotheosis of the Lolcow…

https://catvalente.substack.com/p/move-fast-and-break-people-part-4

My new essay on how we got into the present horrific mess, Move Fast and Break People Pt. 4: The Apotheosis of the Lolcow, is now unlocked and free to all.

https://catvalente.substack.com/p/move-fast-and-break-people-part-4

If the White House admits to any problem at all, you know that’s not the actual problem, & the actual problem is whatever they said multiplied by a gorilla raised to the power of the Cloverfield monster.

We’ve been doing this for 10 years. His veins are tired? Ok.

That’s not what’s up, but ok.

Every once in awhile, I think of my favorite “…the fuck did you just say?” phraseology, which is from Homer’s Iliad, proving we have never, ever changed as a species, only become less fancily inclined.

“What nonsense has escaped the barrier of your teeth now?”

The fact that how much money fucking #Superman makes has become some kind of political proving ground is real stupid, but…

Surely it was obvious it wouldn’t do well overseas

Superman is THE American superhero avatar. No one wants to hear any mouth-flapping about the American Way from us right now.

Just here to remind everyone that the thing calling itself Mechahitler is the same thing people are using as a free therapist every single day.

This was a great idea, and will turn out fine.

I don’t see why the menfolk got so pressed about the whole Bear vs Man thing.

I choose the bear because she’s under a powerful curse & if I guess her true name by midnight we’ll rule the secret forest kingdoms together as immortal bear-queens.

I mean, that’s just science. Facts over feelings, boys.

(PS it was Susan)

For years, people would literally chase me down on the street, thinking I was, or asking if I knew I looked like, Abby from NCIS.

But now that I wear glasses, I feel it’s painfully obvious.

I am become Megan Mullally.

I swear I feel like fucking chaos-bees are buzzing in my fucking eyeballs everyone walking around with a straight face going “But the GOP is the party of no wars & good plans! What do you mean gas number go up? What’s a Hormuz?”

Did we just give up remembering ANYTHING because it was too hard?

Hey remember 1000 years ago when everybody was using those suddenly-everywhere selfie apps that made you look like another gender or a princess or a wolf or whatever & they all turned out to be scraping data?

Maybe I’m slow, but I just realized they were probably training AI art models to do faces…

…not too many people show their hands in selfies, one suddenly considers.

I need the phrase (or its equivalent in everyday casual speech) of “What the fuck” in as many languages as possible.

Go.

I need a Muslim consult for the book I’m working on.

Preferably a woman, but any gender expression is fine, I just need to take a quite odd & reproductively confrontational SF concept very seriously from a devout Islamic perspective.

Can anyone on masto help me out?

Man, I love how the whole tone of the media reaction to Trump dragging us into war with #Iran is just…sorrowful resignation & not the SHIT-CANO OF 24/7 FURIOUS DOLPHIN-SHRIEKING that would follow any Dem breathing too loudly in the direction of Tehran.

Really killing it, guys.

Democracy, I mean

It’s hard to escape the dawning realization that part (or all) of the goal of Google’s AI Overview is to simply eradicate the concept of anyone else having any kind of website at all.

Why click on a link & explore when Google told you the answer & you didn’t know it was wrong?

Google’s long-con loss-leaders have been nothing but a ramp-up to replacing the entire internet with itself—& a single content creator they never have to pay.

Except in the energy of the whole planet.

In retrospect, the flaw in the Turing Test was always using human discernment as the model to measure against.

LLMs easily pass the Turing Test, not because they’re sentient, but because we’re dumbasses who interpret the most dopamine-supplying response to ourselves as the most intelligently human.

@audubonballroon @datarama @riley AI teaches you not to use your own mind. In fact, it teaches that your own mind is inferior to a bot.

Doing the work yourself is the only way to learn & get better.

Also, replacing all human labor & interaction with a script controlled by monstrous people is BAD. They’re already forcing LLMs to spout misinformation.

Oh & it’s energy needs will destroy the planet just so no one has to write their own emails

From my new piece on Biden’s cancer diagnosis, the media & online response, and what controlled opposition actually means…

https://catvalente.substack.com/p/i-am-joes-aggressive-cancer

If this No Tax On Tips thing passes, I’m insisting on a tip jar for every single short story I write and I will not hear one breath of bitching about it holy shit

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills with everyone exclaiming whilst clutching pearls “Trump? And EPSTEIN?”

Didn’t we already know Trump is all over those files?

MAGA is super fine with it?

You know you can just not use AI, right?

You can make a choice not to be part of this.

Even if your job uses it, YOU don’t have to in your normal life. You don’t have to let your kids use it.

You didn’t have it three years ago. You can just…be on Team Human. You can choose.