Notices by Catherynne M. Valente (catvalente@wandering.shop), page 3

Come on, Elon.

Say you stole it. Spill it all. You know you want to. So much attention. You can do it.

The thing people still don’t seem to get?

Trump backs down at ANY kind of pushback. Resist a little & he folds.

SO FUCKING QUIT FOLDING IN ADVANCE DING-DONGS

https://www.pressherald.com/2025/05/02/maine-settles-case-over-frozen-usda-school-funds/

At this point, if I woke up in the morning to find out US dollars have been replaced with lit firecrackers, McDonalds has been given direct control of the military, the 2026 midterms will be determined by the outcome of Purge festivities district by district, & all women have been legally reclassified as rhinoceroses, I'd barely blink.

I’m going to say this slowly.

If Andrew Tate & his ilk were right about ANYTHING they’d have no audience.

Guys would listen briefly, apply advice, & be WAY too busy with their new gfs, side-pieces, & high income hustles to bother tuning in.

It’s the Tinder principle: if you’re happy, they lose a customer.

Their business model is your unending misery.

It feels gross to even put out there that there's not much of a way through except to somehow magically make a bunch of new patrons appear out of thin air. But that's basically where Patreon has left us.

Boxer says I will work harder, but Boxer ended up glue. You know?

As a neurodiverse single parent of a neurodiverse kid deeply struggling to find a way to complete work while not neglecting my child & also living in fear of my own government's plans for us, I feel so helpless. Knocked down by all this at the time I can least afford it.

I know others have it worse.

Every one of the changes that took effect this month (and a few more that will take effect in November) takes money away from creators & gives it to Patreon & Apple.

Hardly anyone can just eat an instant 30% drop in income--except companies like that, but they'll be fine. Will we? I don't know.

Basically: any subscriptions made through the iOS/Apple store now have the 30% fee applied, which comes out of our portion of the sub. It also seems iOS subscriptions are subject to a 75 DAY hold, which is truly beyond any normal processing time

This is why most folks lost around 30% overnight.

If you want to help out, obv. becoming a patron if you weren't before would help shore up the gaping hole we're all grappling with. But do it through a BROWSER, which circumvents all these issues

You could also email #Patreon, as we've all done, & complain. I'm not sure they're listening, though

If you're already a patron and you signed up through the Apple store, unfortunately, cancelling & re-subscribing through a browser will only work at the end of a billing cycle, as they won't take a new sub before the current cycle is up. #patreon

But beyond that...it doesn't look like good.

We are already terrified--artists are always considered expendable & economic chaos means no one has much wiggle room.

To do this do the hundreds of thousands of artists who rely on #Patreon to live when it's about to cost $50 for a fucking carton of milk is utterly gutting.

Oh my god, 6 year old just asked a post-bath question for the ages:

“Mama, in your whole life, how many objects have you gotten that were cursed?”

Many changes took effect at #Patreon today, all devastating to creators' income,especially those of us who rely on Patreon to...not die

I woke up to my income slashed by 28% despite no change in patrons. I'm not alone--all while our economy burns

I'm not sure what to do, but there's a few things 🧵

The last six weeks have been nothing but these spoilt princes lighting things on fire, then strutting around pretending it’ll be better burnt while privately scrambling to somehow un-burn it because turns out the thing did something pretty fucking important.

IT ALL DOES SOMETHING, YOU CREATURES

https://www.axios.com/2025/03/03/kennedy-jr-measles-outbreak-vaccine

Why would there be an apocalypse when you’re in charge and so amazing at everything, Elon?

WHY WOULD THERE BE AN APOCALYPSE WHEN YOU’RE IN CHARGE & SO AWESOME AT EVERYTHING, ELON?

The Trump administration is just the Tulsa Massacre writ large.

A black man got elected/black Americans made some progress so the white folks next door have to burn the whole thing down to make it never have happened.

I am so proud of my governor, Janet Mills, for not only standing up to that waste of several suits, but standing up for trans students and every student in our state.

DIRIGO, MOTHERFUCKER #maine

I deeply resent that society is falling apart except for all the parts where WE still have to obey the rules & pay our taxes & pretend things are normal enough to function day in & day out.

Just couldn’t vote to survive, could you, America?

Shall we talk about the Civil Rights Act? Because that was 1964.

The current President turned 18 in 1964.

We talk about people being alive now who lived through Jim Crow.

The people who LOVED Jim Crow, or just grew up thinking it normal, are also still alive.
https://wandering.shop/@Catvalente/114019859631832721

Women couldn’t have their own credit until 1974. Marital rape became illegal nationwide in 1994.

We are ONE generation into women having a CHANCE at life & it’s proved so intolerable America would rather end itself than allow such a thing to continue.