Notices by Cactuar Joe (cactuarjoe@retro.pizza), page 2

This movie doesn't resolve plot points, it just hands Akton a new power and goes, "Have fun, kid!" #Monsterdon

"You must've known all along"

Yes, my smugness drives the plot. #Monsterdon

"There's no way you could have"

The plot doesn't like you *nearly* as much as it loves me. #Monsterdon

It's nice how the movie's got a Designated Exposition Character :/ #Monsterdon

FINALLY THE ROBOT GOLEMS #Monsterdon

The most unbelievable part of this whole movie is that the Count hasn't twiddled his moustache sinisterly even ONCE yet. #Monsterdon

You know who would make a great Dark Count Zarth Arn? Danny Trejo. #Monsterdon

Those bastards, they spray painted her! #Monsterdon

Unfortunately, suckers are resistant to sucker punches. #Monsterdon

Whoa that's too much of a closeup, back off back off #Monsterdon

They never really explain what Akton's deal is. Is he psychic? Alien? Some sort of Jedi thing? Apparently it's not important. #Monsterdon

Gibbons on the soundtrack there #Monsterdon

Too late guys. She's a popcorn ceiling now. #Monsterdon

Man I bet that was an *annoying* series of makeup sessions for that defrosting sequence. #Monsterdon

...The smuggler has a problem with breaking the law?

WAIT, *defying fate* is against the law? ...I feel like that would be a much bigger part of the plot if this were a better movie. #Monsterdon

We've been hit by the Lava Lamp Beam! #Monsterdon

The most PAHRFUL weapon! In the ENTIRE GALAXY! #Monsterdon

They wrapped her back up in clingfilm, gotta keep her fresh after that stint in the freezer. #Monsterdon

Robot chauvinism? Like no -vinism I knooooow♫ #Monsterdon

These cavemen studied at the Octaman school of martial arts. #Monsterdon