Notices by Lesbian Death Bed (bitterkarella@sfba.social)

1
[at unicorn fuck club]
GRR Martin: hey jrrt we just saw that peter Jackson movie
CS Lewis: yeah it was pretty good
JRR Tolkien: bleh
Tolkien: they never make the hobbits hot enough
Tolkien: there are entire shots where you can't see their feet at all

2
Tolkien: look, i don't want to talk about the blue wizards
Martin: gosh why don't you want to talk about the blue wizards jrrt?
Tolkien:
Tolkien: because
Tolkien:
Tolkien: because fuck you that's why

1
JRR Tolkien: submitted for the approval of unicorn fuck club, i call this the similrian
Tolkien: i know that you all had a lot of questions about middle earth after LOTR
Tolkien: so this story will answer all questions
GRR Martin: even questions about the blue wizards
Tolkien: no it does not answer questions about the blue wizards

4
Tolkien: you have to understand, i was writing in the 1940s
Tolkien: there weren't a whole lot of colors back then
Tolkien: and blue had just been invented
Tolkien: so i guess i got a little crazy with it

3
Martin: what's the deal with wizards?
Tolkien: there's Gandalf the gray, Saruman the white, radagast the brown, and then two blue wizards
Martin: why two blue ones?
Tolkien: i ran out of colors

5
Tolkien: the important thing about the wizards is that they each embody a different way of dealing with fascism
Tolkien: Saruman is capitulation
Tolkien: Gandalf is direct action
Tolkien: radagast is self care

2
Murray: so this story is about odie
Dean Koontz: :)
Murray: who is NOT the dog from Garfield
Koontz: :(

1
Mae Murray: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i all this the tale of the girl who gets possessed by her sentient abortion
Murray: but don't worry, this abortion just wants to have fun
Murray: abortions just wanna
Murray: they just wanna
Murray: abortions just wanna have fun

4
Murray: as a real southern queer, odie goes to the big queer club in Little Rock
Murray: she looks around at all the real southern queers, real salt of the earth folks, not like those fancy pants snob queers you get up in New England
King: hey!
King: now hold on a gosh darn second here!

3
Murray: odie has an abortion but it doesn't really take
Murray: instead it possesses her body
Murray: and makes her dance
Murray: and kill her rapist
Mary Shelley: haha yes… YES!
Murray: and also some shitty cops
George Romero: haha yes… YES!
Romero: ACAB, baby!

6
King: gosh mae there's some pretty unbelievable stuff happening in this story!
Murray: you don't believe a woman could be possessed by a sentient space abortion that leads her to kill her rapist?
King: no i mean
King: i didn't know there were queers in the south
Murray:
Murray: you've never been lower than new Hampshire have you
King: whoa i don't go to new Hampshire!
King: i heard there's dragons there

5
Murray: as a southern queer, odie thinks about how much pride she has as a southern queer but also as a member of the southern queer community
Murray: as a southern queer, you gotta express your pride
Murray:

8
King: I've seen armadillos and, goshdarnit, those little guys are just too cute to be corpse eaters
Barker: what about the possum? you don't object to the possum?
King: oh a possum would 100% eat a corpse

7
King: but actually i was referring to this bit where armadillos eat a corpse
King: i mean, come on, really?
King: i just don't buy it

@GregStolze disagree! i had a pet possum once XD she was good!

1
Stephen King: submitted for the approval of the
Elon Musk: [rising out of bushes] eyyy stephano king
King: oh great it's elon
Musk: uh uh uh stephano king maybe you no heara da news
Musk: now it's mista signore el supremo his excellency generalismo god emperor elon musk, head of the turkmen!
Musk: now i owna da america!

1
Arthur Machen: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the white powder
Machen: it's about this white powder that turns you into a big blob of goo
Barker: haha oh man i hate when that happens
Barker: hahaha- oh
Barker: oh shit i'm sorry
Lor Gislason: bloop bloop i'm sitting right here

4
King: so instead of getting the white powder that gives you energy he gets the white powder that turns you into goo?
King: that seems like a pretty major mistake
Machen: yeah its not ideal

3
Machen: the doctor prescribes this white powder that gives you energy
Machen: but the chemist messes up
Machen: and gives him the white powder that turns you into goo

2
Machen: so there's this law student who's studying way too hard and he's just exhausted
Machen: so he gets this white power that's supposed to give him more energy
Barker: sound familiar steve?
Stephen King: i don't really like to talk about that