Notices by Lesbian Death Bed (bitterkarella@sfba.social)

2
King: maybe i'm looking at this all wrong
King: i mean we're all story tellers, right?
King: maybe we could use the awesome power of story telling to help change elon!
Kurt Vonnegut: so
King: don't bring me down, kurt, i'm cooking here!

1
Elon Musk: eyyy stephano king
Musk: we besta friends ey?
Stephen King: goshdarn it elon leave me alone!
Musk: eyyy i aska da grok to draw a picture of us together
King:

4
King: think about it! we could teach elon that stealing is bad!
Barker: so how old exactly is elon
King: yeah hardy har har very funny clive
King: but seriously maybe nobody ever told him
Poe: that is possible, he is south african after all

3
King: think about it!
King: elon's been stealing america's money
King: but maybe, through the awesome power of story telling, we could reach elon and get him to understand that stealing is wrong!

6
King: first, philip k dick is going to warn us about the perils of the cyberpunk surveillance state
King: then as a closer, the guy who wrote the novelization of that story's movie adaptation
King: piers anthony
Piers Anthony: guys check it OUT
Anthony: this chick has THREE boobs

5
King: okay elon we're gonna tell some special stories for you tonight
King: but you have to be quiet
King: no disruptions
Musk: no disruptiano??
King: yes
King: can you do that for me
Musk: mama mia itsa gonna be hard!!

8
Eric Raglin: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of antifa splatterpunk
Musk: mama mia!!!!
Musk: this issa a crime

7
Piers Anthony: guys!!! THREE boobs!
Anthony: that's so wild
Anthony: i mean, most women only have two
Anthony: not even angela could argue with that
Angela Carter: don't even bring me into this
Edward Lee: bro three boobs is a waste
Lee: i only got two hands, bro!

10
Cynthia Gomez: what if a racist cop was haunted by a vision of his victim
Gordon B White: what if cops had a gas that made you go crazy
Patrick Barb: what if cops were actual pigs

9
Raglin: now we all know that cops are great
Raglin: they're just awesome, we love them
Raglin: we would never suggest that they change
Raglin: but what some of these stories are asking
Raglin: is what if cops were bad?

12
Raglin: ok so my story asks you to imagine
Raglin: what if the scandinavian black metal scene was infiltrated by nazi punks
Raglin: wild, i know, but stick with me
Raglin: see, this is what's so great about speculative fiction
Raglin: it can make the most outlandish premise seem plausible

11
Barb: what if
Barb: one day the cops were all "oh you wanna call us pigs?"
Barb: "well then we're gonna start wearing actual rotting pig carcasses"
Barb: "how you like that?"
Barb: "maybe you should have thought about OUR feelings"
Barb: "really, we feel bullied"

2
King: now come on edgar
King: i'm sure that whatever joanne wants to tell us about harry potter
King: it's not going to be anything bad!
Poe:
King: she would never intentionally ruin her most beloved property!
Poe:
King: it's gonna be about the toilets isn't it

1
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: i have big newssss
King: oh no
Rowling: it'sss about harry potter!
King: oh!
King: i didn't expect that
King: well that sounds just fine then!
Poe: careful steve
Poe: she's tricked you before

4
King: that's actually true!
King: see, some of you kids might not remember that
King: but ol' Joanne here was actually really big in the writing world back in the 90s
Joe Hill: dad, i know this

3
Rowling: now i know mossst of you know me for my transsphobia
Rowling: but what you might not know iss that i'm alsso a writer

6
Barker: damn i can't believe you're still doing harry potter
Barker: i thought you just pivoted entirely to transsphobia
Rowling: i can do both!
Rowling: i'm a renaisssance woman!

5
Rowling: i'm actually the writer of a little sseriesss called harry potter
Rowling: you might have heard of it
Rowling: it'ss whimssical, it's magical
Rowling: and mosst of all
Rowling: it should dissstract you from my tweets
Barker: did you finally tweet the fourteen words
Barker: is that what this is about?
Barker: who won the pool?

8
Rowling: asss you know
Rowling: there'sss a new harry potter tv ssseriesss
Barker: is it transphobic
Rowling: it'ss whimssical
Rowling: it will make your childhood magic again
Barker: i'm not hearing a no

7
Rowling: i can both tweet transsphobia AND find time to write!
Barker: oh yeah? what have you written lately?
Rowling: well i wrote
Rowling:
Rowling: