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Parenting is not about controlling children. It’s about controlling yourself.

I remind myself of this all the time. 99% of the work is internal. Managing my own reactivity, my tiredness, my triggers, my expectations. My children follow the emotional temperature I set, not the words I say. This is most of the effort that is required in parenting that works.

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Parenting is hard. Good parenting is harder.

My journey as a parent has been long and difficult, and I’ve learned an awful lot along the way.

So, I thought I would share the things that have made the biggest difference in my relationship with my children. Each has required a lot of work and a lot of energy, but now that they are firmly in place, they allow us all to live with some ease.

#Parenting #Writing #Books #Children #Family #Scotland #WritingCommunity #Reading

@GreenSkyOverMe Gluten free, dairy free

I have successfully facilitated my first from scratch gf df gingerbread house. And my youngest daughter has successfully designed and built her first from scratch gf df gingerbread house.

Hands were shaking, reinforcements called in, maybe some snippy tones of voice.

BUT WE DID IT!

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I want to pick up another part of the ‘nature cure’ problem

When a woman writes about the outdoors, people often reach for the same narrative template. She walked, she felt better, the land healed her. It can read as wholesome encouragement, even harmless, but the effect is anything but neutral.

‘Nature cure’ quietly shifts the focus away from the systemic forces that harmed her in the first place.

#Scotland #Writing #WritingCommunity #Reading #Books #NatureWriting #Nature

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And the truth is, ‘nature cure’ isn’t applied evenly. It’s disproportionately placed onto women’s efforts, insight, and recovery. All of these are too often handed over to the mystical healing powers of hills rather than recognised as the result of hard graft!

There is no ‘nature cure’ in my book. I won’t let the landscape take credit for the work only I could do. The land was there, yes, but it didn’t change my life. I did that.

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What changed my life was hard work, tough decisions, and medication. Years of therapy. Painful realisations and reckonings. Sobriety. Unpicking the conditioning I’d inherited around parenting, and then doing better. Bupropion. Methylphenidate. The slow, unglamorous discipline of showing up for myself again and again.

2/4

If all I’d done was climb a munro, walk among the proud piles of fallen stone at Craignavar, and build walls across Perthshire, nothing fundamental in my life would have shifted. Those moments mattered, but they weren’t a cure. Not even close.

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Recently at a Q&A, the chair asked me an excellent question: Why do you push so hard against the idea of a ‘nature cure’ when moments in your book Drystone - A Life Rebuilt might look like exactly that?

The answer is simple.

#Reading #Writing #WritingCommunity #Scotland #NatureWriting #Nature #Land #Women #Author

A young woman I know is putting on a play as part of her thesis. Attendance is in-person or via live stream.

Serina is Covid Conscious & her play shares the lived experiences of everyday people with the pandemic.

Let's throw our full support behind her!

#Covid #covidIsNotOver #covid19 #Glasgow #Scotland #Theatre #maskUp

@gemlog Yes, I feel lighter. Not trusting it yet, but definitely relieved.

I will be at Creative Conversations - 1pm at Glasgow Uni on Monday 1st December.

This is a wonderful series of events in a beautiful venue (the university memorial chapel!) and it's free!

I love doing these events now, so come and say Hello!

Reserve your place at link below.

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/creative-conversations-kristie-de-garis-tickets-1828297881179

#Scotland #Books #WritingCommunity #Reading #Writing #Glasgow

Next week I'll be 7 years sober.

Some thoughts on that journey.

(Read the post here

https://substack.com/@kristiedegaris/note/c-180431796?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=5wpdz4 )

#Sobriety #Alcohol #Addiction #Writing #Reading #Scotland #WritingCommunity

I've completely abandoned any promotion since my book, Drystone - A Life Rebuilt came out in August because honestly, I'm sick of it. Sick of talking about myself. Sick of thinking about my past. Sick of being online loads. All three are incredibly bad for me. So, while I'd love it if you bought my book (it's genuinely really good) I'm not willing to rinse myself to persude you.

(Either I'm fucking terrible at promotion, or I'm twenty years ahead ;)

#Books #Reading #Scotland #Writing

I will never get over the generosity of women. In my life. In books. And I loved this one.

#Books #Scotland #Writing #Recommendation

Come see me be charming and interesting af on the 27th August at 7pm, St Peter's Church, Linlithgow. Tickets £8.

45 minutes of Q&A, then audience questions (questions I won't be answering are below ;) and finally an opportunity to buy a book and have it signed.

Support authors and indy bookshops *and* have a wonderful evening out.

#Scotland #Event #Books #Books #Reading #Writing #WritingCommunity #Scottish #Author

I will never get over the fact that I have written a book that people think is really good. It will never get old and I will never stop thinking this is the coolest thing in the world.

Thank you, thank you!

#Scotland #Books #Reading #WritingCommunity #Bookstodon

#Introduction

I'm Kristie, I'm 40, Scottish, mixed-race, neurodiverse and a #photographer, #writer & #DrystoneWaller.

Mum of two, ex-wife of two, six years sober this year, Covid Informed.

I live a quiet, carefully curated life and that works for me. I don't have a TV, I'm on social media but not ON social media, I don't read much of the news other than to stay in the loop, and there are many hills I will die on. Choose my battles? I choose them ALL.

No longer just a thought, a proposal, seven messy drafts, a pre-order...

DRYSTONE - A LIFE REBUILT is officially launched!

#Scotland #Books #Bookstodon #Writing #WritingCommunity #Book #Memoir #Nature

Re-sharing this as it's a great weekend read.

Probably the best piece I've written. It's sharp, clear, honest and will resonate with many, many people, especially women.

How I reclaimed my body through drystone, and in doing so reclaimed my mind and my self too.

https://kristiedegaris.substack.com/p/what-i-build-will-outlast-every-man-who-ever-wanted-me

#Scotland #Women #Feminism #Books #Book #WritingCommunity #Writing #Bookstodon #Feminism #Craft #Landscape #Work #Building #Life #Nature #Outdoors #Scottish