Notices by Stefan (stefanthinks@beige.party), page 3

I like how Burger King’s whole marketing campaign is “have it your way” like if you go to McDonald's or Wendy's and ask for no onions, they will say, “Get the fuck out of here!”

They keep promising that history repeats itself, yet no extinction asteroid.

I was reading the Wiki page for The Brutalist and saw a character referred to as a “mundane architect.” Now, I'm confused about whether that's an insult or a compliment in relation to the brutalist aesthetic.

You can't spell echolocate without chocolate.

“Civilization is collapsing before our eyes, and you are making fart jokes???”

Well, yeah, it was an intellectual commentary on the plight of the human condition. And they make silly noises.

It's either “sure, I can do a Costco run in the neighboring town and make it on time to my doctor appointment that is in 12 minutes.” or “I must not do anything else all day because I have a phone call scheduled at 4pm.”

There is no in-between.

Girl, are you a monetary penalty incurred for committing a misdemeanor crime such as littering? Because you fine.

So now that Musk says comedy is legal, when is he going to start doing it? 🤣🤣🤣

I don't know guys, WWIII right now would be a really inconvenient time for me.

People who hate clickbait listicles hate these 5 tricks.

Bring back music stores with the stations where you can put on headphones, close your eyes, and just listen to an album.

My doge ate my tax return.

There’s enlightenment at the end of the dark age tunnel.

I picked the wrong time to not be extremely wealthy.

There's more to me than just being hilarious and having perfect moobs.

They are replacing DEI with a merit based test to determine how qualified a candidate is for a position.

The test:

1. Are your parents rich?

Tonight's the night I am finally going to read that browser tab that's been open since last year with the article on time management, I can feel it!

President guy with a grade school vocabulary implying that non-whites are intellectually inferior.

“You can upload all your data so AI can predict how likely you will enjoy a book.” umm, my prediction is that the Venn diagram of people who let AI make life decisions and people who read books looks like a pair of binoculars from the front.

Mmmmmmm turtles on the half shell.