Notices by Stefan (stefanthinks@beige.party), page 2

I just planted some veggies in my prepper garden. Now, I’ll be ready for the apocalypse as long as it doesn't come too soon or last more than 2-3 days.

Is it just me or has the US Postal Service been slow and erratic lately?

I’ve been waiting for a package that was supposed to arrive in 3-5 business days for over 2 weeks. Some other packages en route are taking days to get picked up and for processing, and they seem to be taking the scenic route.

Guy holding up a chainsaw to gloat over massive layoffs and dismantling of checks and balances to enrich himself: What did lil ol me possibly do to make evewyone so angwy?

Tell your mom some weird guy on the internet she doesn't know says hello.

My kid saw your post about what your kid said and said “Yeah, that happened!”

RFK Jr doing an interview while prominently displaying Sangre del Tigre gas station boner pills in frame and advocating for using dog saliva to treat open wounds.

A house where every surface is a Murphy bed.

I'm sharing this even if it's embarrassing because I thought it couldn’t happen to me. I fell in love with someone as soon as I saw her pfp, radiating beauty. Unrequited. I was desolate, so I clicked on her pfp to see the larger version and realized it was a dog’s tail wearing sunglasses. Deception!

Why don't we eat flamingos? Because the meat is too pink.

It's like we are living in the Planet of the Apes but instead of apes it's bigoted bullies.

Don't act surprised if I contradict myself, I change my mind all the time when I find information that is new or makes more sense.

Chase Manhattan? Um, Manhattan's a borough, it's not that fast, it's not going anywhere. Easy to catch.

Microdosing being non-American by staying up at 3:30am so my feed is nothing but news and rants about politics in another country(Australia).

“Groceries are becoming increasingly expensive. People can't afford basic necessities.”

Let them drink poop.

“Let me tell you why you are wrong about thinking I was condescending by explaining again the thing you indicated you didn't need to be explained but with more words this time.”

Please contribute to my crowdfunding campaign so I can realize my dream of having people give me money.

I am starting to feel embarrassed for people who overuse Netspeak. Use your brain to say something original. I muted someone who replied, “Tell me you don't understand __ without telling me you don't understand __.” So immature, it was like talking to a pull-string doll with 5 canned responses.

Remember, don't say it wrong and annoy a pedant. It's “Dayslights Savings Times.”

They should do a dark gritty Spiderverse movie where Spiderman is a cannibal just so they can use the Cure’s Lullaby for the soundtrack.

Where do I sign up to be a paid protester? I'm tired of giving away my protests.