Notices by Stefan (stefanthinks@beige.party)

People who hate clickbait listicles hate these 5 tricks.

Bring back music stores with the stations where you can put on headphones, close your eyes, and just listen to an album.

My doge ate my tax return.

There’s enlightenment at the end of the dark age tunnel.

I picked the wrong time to not be extremely wealthy.

There's more to me than just being hilarious and having perfect moobs.

They are replacing DEI with a merit based test to determine how qualified a candidate is for a position.

The test:

1. Are your parents rich?

Tonight's the night I am finally going to read that browser tab that's been open since last year with the article on time management, I can feel it!

President guy with a grade school vocabulary implying that non-whites are intellectually inferior.

“You can upload all your data so AI can predict how likely you will enjoy a book.” umm, my prediction is that the Venn diagram of people who let AI make life decisions and people who read books looks like a pair of binoculars from the front.

Mmmmmmm turtles on the half shell.

I don't know what to do, but arguing with strangers has proven ineffective.

Learning about astral projections because I can't afford to fly to Tahiti.

In England, chipmunks are called crispmunks.

What happens when AI starts training on AI-generated word salad and hallucinations that were trained on AI-generated word salad and hallucinations, like some kind of MC Escher feedback loop?

We should be able to charge our bodies with usb-c cables by now.

Why were the Mexican pants sad?

Because they were pant-alone-ees

Everyone knows that if you have virtues, you shove that shit down deep and never act according to them, share them, or ever mention them. They are dead to you, got it?

My toddler: soooooooo?

Me: Take Chad’s bike. You don’t want people to think we’re rubbing it in their face that we don’t steal.

“Obama followed me on the other site.” Well, la Dee dah, one time, I made a joke about selling old Wienerschnitzel hot dog water as a cologne for dogs or something, and the Wienerschnitzel social media account liked it. Get back to me when you top that.

I just found out my tweet I did on Twitter was screenshot and memified, even had an entry on knowyourmeme. It's kind of cool because no one knows who created it except for me. So I'm pretty much like if Banksy won a caption contest.