Notices by Staff Chief of Joints (the_etrain@beige.party), page 4

Shitposting pirate. That's a viable career choice, right?

I thought we peaked at spy balloons, but man, I didn't even entertain trash balloons as a possibility.

20s: hijinks

40s: lojinks

China: Let's use balloons to spy on our adversaries.

North Korea: Or, hear me out now, we tie bags of poop to the balloons and wait for the wind to be just right.

China: This is why we're friends.

Game show idea: Naked Staring Contest

Gonna call up my homies and turn this gazebo into a gazebro.

It's stupid raining on the stupid weekend. Again. Anyway, here are some stupid irises I've be meaning to post.

Privacy is a tradeoff. For example, I can control my bedroom lighting with my voice and, in turn, some weirdos at Amazon get to listen to me rail my wife.

If humans were actually the result of intelligent design, our bladders would be twice the size so we wouldn't have to pee in the middle of the night.

Beginning to think some people aren't compatible with the internet.

I like how social media and news sites call it your "feed". Makes me feel like a farm animal getting fattened up for slaughter so I can be divided up and sold piecemeal to advertisers.

I'm no scientist, but if a bird transmits the flu to a cow that is now the cow flu.

Given my middle-ageness, I will only be using this account to complain about the sodium content of food from here on out.

The ABCs of Mastodon:

Always be boosting
Boost some more
Could you maybe do more boosting?

I should have never started being friends with normal people. That's where it all went wrong.

I hope you all adopted rescue peeves instead of going to a peeve breeder.

Inside you are two wolves. They are hungry. They are both named Duran.

It's a Snoop Doggwood cause it's 4/20.

Can't. That's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.

I'm pro-antibiotics, but anti-probiotics.