Notices by Ólafur Waage (olafurw@mastodon.social)

Am I retired? Yup. Yesterday I was tired and today I'm tired again.

You want a unique name for your kid? That's what uuids are for. Here 0cd5cde3-814f-463d-bbf6-839bdcbefbab

"What game are you playing?"
-"Hearthstone"
"The card game?"
-"Yeah"
"Ahh, I've never been into first person top-down perspective games"
-"What on earth did you just say?"
"Well I guess the cards coming onto the screen are more like a side scroller"
-"..."

"I love pyramids"
-"Oh cool, me too, which one is your favorite?"
"Food"
-"..."

If other video games were named like Death Stranding 2: On the Beach.

Bioshock 3: In the Sky.
Portal 2: Many years later.
Mortal Kombat 2: Now being hosted in Outworld.
Fallout 2: Grandchild fetches a thingamajig.
Doom 2: Hell on Earth... wait a minute.

"This is absolute Cinema"
-"Do you know what Cinema actually is?"
"Isn't it the place where old people go to watch really long TikToks?"
-"..."

"You should learn art" - says the art person
"You should learn science" - says the science person
"I would never wish this on my worst enemy" - says the programming person

Databases are still using tables? Don't they know we've switched to <div> years ago?

"I connect, therefore I am." - René DeSCART

"The 2000s didn't have like a defining thing, for me"
-"What about listening to System of a Down while playing World of Warcraft?"
"I retract my statement."

[starts destroying the government]
"Hey, can you please stop that?"
[dismantles all safeguards]
"This is not a nice way to behave mister"
[starts siphoning out all money and power]
"You are not following the correct checklists!"

@jedi I like detail :D

How do I make sure my library function is correct?

Well I create the entire valid-input set and the entire invalid-input set and run those against other libraries that do the same.

Then I file bug reports on the libraries that don't behave like mine... right?

Wait, there are other libraries that do the same as mine? Why am I writing one? Don't worry, such minor detail hasn't stopped people in the past.

Checks & Balances? Nah.
Nothing is being checked and everything is off balance.

"They've started to say the quiet part out loud"
Look, I'm happy you've joined us but it's been deafening for years.

Programming languages: "We are just a way to operate computers in a way that makes sense to humans."

Programming languages [takes a big joint hit]: "What if there were 5 kinds of nothingness?"

"Can you explain the gaps in your resume."
-"I saved the file with Windows based line endings and you're opening it in an editor that treats them differently."

"Meta is reportedly scrambling multiple ‘war rooms’ of engineers to figure out how DeepSeek’s AI is beating everyone else at a fraction of the price"

Zuck, I thought you had AI to do that for you.

Finally, in C++26 you can debug C++.

Hey Journalists. That was not an "Odd looking salute". Jesus fucking christ.