Notices by Brian Bilston (brianbilston@mastodon.online), page 2

@cloudhopper I feel very sorry for her. She deserves better than that.

To celebrate the first day of autumn, here’s a poem called ‘The Problem of Writing Poems in the Shape of Deciduous Trees’.

Some news! I have a new book of poems for children coming out in September – Let Sleeping Cats Lie.

It’s a collection of poems about pets (cats, dogs, rabbits, snakes, blue whales etc) and is available to preorder (should you want to, that is).

https://www.panmacmillan.com/authors/brian-bilston/let-sleeping-cats-lie-pet-poems/9781035050550

Here’s a short poem about the inadvisability of spoiling ballot papers.

Here’s a poem in commemoration of the 80th anniversary of D-Day.
It’s called ‘Queueing for an Ice Cream’.

As if it wasn’t enough for it to be Monday morning, some students are also facing their GSCE English paper today and the terror of the ‘unseen poem’.

Wishing them the very best of luck with it.

I’m fed up with people pointing out all the mistakes in my poetry so I’ve written them this poem; it’s called ‘Pedant’s’.

Here’s a short rhyme to help you remember how many days there are in each month.

Today’s poem is called ‘Monetization’.

Today’s poem consists of popular searches on Google to do with Christmas. It’s called ‘Christmas in the Age of Google’.

Today’s poem is called ‘Frisbee’.

Today’s poem is called ‘Needles’.

Today’s poem is called ‘Roles’.

Today’s poem concerns a ritual I go through on a number of occasions each December.

It’s called ‘On Searching for a Book of Stamps’.

@Antiqueight We should form a club.

Today’s poem is called ‘Logomachy’.

Here’s a poem called ‘As I Grow Old I Will March Not Shuffle’.

Happy autumn to you.

BRIE ENCOUNTER
 
the skies are gruyere since she left me
i’ve never felt so danish blue
caught between a roquefort and a hard cheese,
i stilton’t know what to do
 
don’t give edam about the future
now my babybel’s walked out the door
can’t believe i’ve double gloucester
i camembert it any more
 
i’ve ricotta get myself together
and build my life back caerphilly
cheddar tear for the final time
say goodbye to us and halloumi

The English language is weird.

Here’s a poem called ‘Neither Rhyme nor Reason’.