@wolfe I'm really sorry that men break your heart, dear.
I do find gay dating apps more direct and simple.
Regarding aro and anxiety, I think the issue here is trying to gauge something that the person doesn't know. So, bear with me, wouldn't it make sense to ask "do you *like* long-term relationships?" (like, found them satisfying in the past) rather than "looking for" one? And I think that an honest answer can be "I don't know", which still provides the information you're after. wdyt?