i actually find it that it hurts quite a bit when people are upset at me, whichever the reason! i think it feels similarly to how others describe "rejection sensitive dysphoria"
i don't really have much of a choice; being known by as many others as i am makes it an inevitability that someone, somewhere, will be upset at me
facing this, i had to learn how to tolerate it, and also decided that minimizing it above all else is a really bad strategy for existence