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@domo Okay, I hope this comes off as encouraging - it certainly isn't any kind of criticism!

I'm not quite sure why you're being so gentle and concerned about his feelings.

At best, he's bringing his stress and fixations about "correct" methods and orders of operations into the workplace and making it your problem.

He's starting with the unprofessionalism, and he's your junior - I initially read that as meaning he was your report (or was he perhaps simply hired after you?) but even if you aren't his direct superior:

I'm not saying that you ought to be abusive or unprofessional, but you're his colleague, not his punching bag. His more experienced colleague.

It's okay to remind him of that. You don't have to be harsh - although he might find that it stings if he's not been confronted with his own bad behaviour too often.

But unless the project ownership and formal workplace hierarchy specify, he doesn't get to speak down to you, he certainly doesn't get to be aggressive to you, and you are entitled to pull him up on that. You are entitled to refuse any demand that isn't specified to be part of your duty or business-hierarchical relationship with him.

Gently, sure.
But it's for his own good and in your other colleagues' best interest to call him on his bullshit.

Good call documenting everything for the union, and talking to your bosses is a good idea - have them back up the fact that you aren't this lad's subordinate.

Good luck! 🖤