if you're going to tell them to join another instance, or that they joined the wrong instance, you're part of the problem. it's frustrating that the Fediverse just doesn't listen to the issues raised by regular people.
it's getting better (thanks in part to Bluesky putting the pressure on as a "competitor" probably) but I think Mastodon and the rest of fedi should stop listening to FOSS hobbyist ideologies, it's holding the network back so much. Best example is this: Mastodon is making a spec for auxiliary services that can handle things like spam detection, so instances don't have to, which seems alright, but then you have shit like this in the issues:
https://github.com/mastodon/fediverse_auxiliary_service_provider_specifications/issues/46