"...f you spend enough effort truly trying to look and behave as the category you don't belong in, (shoe), you should be treated as a part of that category as default."
Why?
How does that follow? how does that even make sense?
If I spend enough time and effort truly trying to look and behave like a dog (and there are people who do), are you obligated to treat me as a dog?
If you tell me I'm not really a dog, are you committing a crime?