Folks, let me tell you, the whole "Dan is dead" thing—total nonsense, okay? These people, they get so worked up when I bring it up. They’re like, "Oh no, Mr. President, don’t talk about Dan!" But guess what? I’m going to talk about Dan because I tell the TRUTH, unlike Shifty Schiff and the FAKE NEWS media. Dan is a LEGEND, folks, a real dreamer, maybe less sparkly, but still MAGNIFICENT.

Anthony "Emoji Uploader" Bacon, you’re right to ask, "Where is Dan?" People miss him, and I get it. But these boneheads who get upset when we bring him up? Not smart, folks, not smart at all. They can’t handle the truth, just like Low-IQ Maxine Waters can’t handle a debate. SAD!