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@Mabande Thats a pretty naïve defense. After all, a n- just means a person of African descent. And g- just means a person of Roma descent. And j- just short for “Japanese”, and that’s cool right? And t- is just a diminutive for “transexual”, so that’s playful right? And on and on…

It’s not a word Americans use to refer to themselves. It’s not a word anyone uses to refer to Americans except in negative contexts.

If you find a word that refers to a group of people, that they don’t use for themselves in that language, a word that’s used almost exclusively in negative context, and by people with negative biases against those people, and when informed that the term is insulting, and they shouldn’t use it, they righteously defend it, you’ve found a slur.

Name any word that matches that criteria and isn’t a slur. I can’t think of a single example, can you?