@p @TrevorGoodchild

The Hobbit video game in the late 1980's was an unwinnable horror show.

> You descend the path into the dark caverns below the Misty mountains.

> A pair of of bulbous eyes follows you.
Keep Walking
>You feel a sharp pain in your back, as the spider's venom courses within your veins. Your last memory is being cocooned in sticky webbing.

**Reload/**

> A pair of of bulbous eyes follows you.
Attack eyes with Elven Dagger
> Gandalf expertly parries your strike, and smites you with a single blow from Glamdring. As your vision fades, you hear Thorin exclaim, "Bilbo has gone mad!"

**Reload/**

> A pair of of bulbous eyes follows you.
Run away from eyes
> You stumble in the darkness, cracking your head. You awaken some time later, to a small creature, hunched over you, making a guttural "gollum" noise. Its clammy fingers close around your throat like a vice, and the last words you hear are "whatss issss it my precioussssss?"

**Reload/**

> A pair of of bulbous eyes follows you.
Stab eyes with Elven Dagger
> A startled cry goes out from Thorin as your blade plunges into his breast. He collapses dead on the ground, as the remaining dwarves close around you, weapons drawn. Your last memory is Balin's axe cleaving your skull in a flash of pain.

_________________________________________

Be me. 8 years old. Slamming the keyboard of our Tandy 1000 SX on the computer table repeatedly, seething in a pool of unmanageable rage. I asked for this game when I saw it in Radio Shack. I willingly brought that abomination into my life.

I asked for it alright.
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