Someone should release an LLM, license it under AGPL and then attach one of those bullshit ethical use policies that restrict usage.

Why? Clueless people and pawns will see that policy and be happy that they're handcuffed, corporates and states will also see it and think all it's in order while avoiding it, because AGPL is too free. Meanwhile, freedom enjoyers that did read the license know that the policy means shit as it's defined as "further restrictions" and you're free to ignore it entirely and do as you want.