I am not in any way affiliated with the management of this project. I will not see $1, let alone $30m. I am not employed by it, paid by it, or building it. I endorsed it. That is, I think it's a good idea.
Moreover, I've been using Mastodon far longer than you have, I use it far more than you do. I did not say - and do not think - Mastodon "isn't cool enough."
It's fine to consider the source when reading, but inventing nonsense about that source is pretty foolish.