@Doll @Jonny @ins0mniak @Leyonhjelm @thendrix mega.nz has never once worked for me.

...Except somehow this time it did. So I boot my live Slackware image.

...Except it looks like it needs x86-64 Linux. Okay, what's reasonably current in the directory full of Live CDs?

There's one called "OI Hipster GUI". It turns out that this is OpenIndiana, not Linux. Okay.

The other one...

Dear god the prompt is terrible, they have a two-line ASCII-art prompt. But the game runs, I can verify that it runs...it runs on...don't make me say it...Kali Linux.
why_does_it_think_i_wanna_date_a_man.png