@sally

The year: 2029.

I open up my IBM Redhat laptop, and boot up my SystemD/Linux operating system. I come to the SystemD-Bootloader boot screen and select SystemdOS (formerly Fedora linux). The SystemD init system runs, and I'm greeted with the SystemD login screen, I punch in my password and username, and I am greeted with the SystemD TTY, I can select from various SystemD coreutils. I run SystemD-Wayland and boot into my SystemDE. I open up the SystemD-Web browser running on the SystemD-webkit, and run tasks on the web. I remember its about time to update SystemdOS so I open up SystemD-Terminal and run SystemD-update, I run System-run0 to authenticate my identity, allowing SystemD-Update to run. 2000 packages to upgrade.

That's when my SystemD-RSS newsfeed gives me a SystemD-Notification. I shake with excitement, work is being done to finally replace the insecure, archaic Linux kernel with a brand new SystemD-Kernel slated for release in Q2 2030. I can barely contain myself, I think I cum a little. I experience a SystemDgasm like no other. I spin around like a school girl in my chair, I turn to face my SystemD-Poster on my wall of Lenerd Pottering, it's cum stained from my many intimate sessions with it, i stroke the poster lovingly, I stand up and kiss Pottering on his SystemD-Lips, SystemdOS will finally be free of outside influence, this is the greatest day of my SystemD-Life.