your associations are not absurd IMHO, and the patterns of misbehavior your describe are indeed common

however, as I have learned from painful personal experiences, it doesn't follow that, because you made those connections, the other person intended for you to make them, or could even fathom that someone might make them.

people's minds and experiences are different, and that makes for different associations. a lot of unnecessary heat arises when people jump to conclusions and assign to others responsibility for thoughts that wouldn't even cross others' minds. the conversations that ensue are seldom useful.