@hj To whom it may concern,

Prithee be aware that I am in possession of a fuck that rightly belongs to you. Verily thou hath marred me so that I have cultivated a multitude of fucks that I shoulds't surely beladen thee with! I beseech thee, meet me in the market square at noon on this very day that I may deliver them in person.

Yours rightfully incensed,

HJ (Honourable Justice)